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Answer your own questions about your sexual identity. Who am I? What makes me me? How does my sexuality play into my spiritual purpose on earth? Overcome issues that keep you from discovering your true sexual identity.
Sexual Identity is how a person perceives their own sexuality and sexual attractions. This is 100% subjective to a person’s self perception, and does not necessarily adhere to outside perceptions, standards, or conventions.
The two are similar but separate. Self concept is your own image of yourself, who you are, and what is your value. Your Sexual Identity can play a part in forming your self concept, but your self concept is the overarching image of yourself.
Sexual Identity is also separate from Gender Identity, even though your gender identity may play a part in your sexual desires and ultimately your sexual identity.
The best way to understand the concept and idea of sexual identity is with examples of sexual identities. Examples of for educational purposes only.
Individual was born a male and identifies as a male (Gender Identity), and is attracted to females and males, but only interested in having sex with females. Individual does not identify with “heterosexuality” as a term for themselves, rather bi-sexual or fluid in sexual orientation — even though the individual is not interested in sex with other males.
The individual’s sexual orientation, gender, and sexual identity are all very clear. The individual is not confused about meanings or terminology or about his desires, and has a very healthy sexual identity. He knows who he is and what he wants. Though the individual may want to explore his sexual identity further, there is a clear grasp of their sexual identity.
Individual was born a male but identifies as a female (Gender Identity), and is attracted to females and only interested in having sex with females. Individual does identifies as a homosexual lesbian woman.
Again, we have a very clear and healthy sexual identity in this individual. There is no confusion about gender identity, or sexual identity. She knows who she is and what she wants.
Individual was born a female and identifies as a female (Gender Identity), but thinks about being a man, and feels confused about thoughts of wanting be a man. She also is only attracted to males, and identifies as heterosexual, but also fantasizes about women from a male point of view. Individual is adamant that she is not sexually attracted to women most of the time, but only when sexually aroused or excited, and feels ashamed of this.
Here we are seeing an individual that may be struggling with their sexual identity. We can’t tell the individual what their sexual identity is — only the individual themselves can sort that out. But we can ask questions and try to help the individual sort through the confusion by simply coaxing them into exploring their sexual identity. The individual used 2 very negative words to describe their sexual identity: “Confused” and “Ashamed.”
Negatives in describing your sexual identity signify an issue. This is a clear case where a sex therapist would likely recommend therapy for exploring sexual identity. Therapy that can help the individual find peace and contentment in their sexual identity, and have only healthy and positive ways of describing it and themselves.
Individual was born a male and identifies as a female (Gender Identity),but also identifies herself as transgender, and is attracted to males, females and transgenders. The individual has been confident of her fluid sexual identity for years and has been very open and adventurous in sexual relationships. However, she has reached a point in her life where she has become conflicted with the sexual identity she has long connected with. She feels there must be “something more” to her intimate relationships and is looking for something different in people she wants to become closer to. For the first time ever, the individual is questioning her sexual identity.
We all go through a number of changes and stages in our lives; and our behaviors, likes, desires, and goals can change in an instant. Many people go through years or most of their lives with 1 sexual identity before encountering any feelings or concerns that cause them to question that identity. There are critical phases in our lives when our sexual identity may change: puberty and adolescence, middle age, or even post change-of-life time. A straight or gay man or woman can go years with one identity and then suddenly start feeling attractions and desires that are different or the complete opposite.
If you are able to roll with the changes in your sexual identity, and not feel and negatives like shame, anger, confusion, or worry, then you are capable of exploring your sexual identity without the need of a sex therapist. However, if you are struggling with your sexual identity, or are not finding the answers to the questions you ask yourself, the help of a sex therapist can be wondrously beneficial.
Everyone needs a healthy sexual identity – regardless of the specifics of that identity. If you are struggling to find peace in life and in your own identity, you have an existential problem that therapy can help you solve. When that existential problem revolves around your sexual identity, you need a Sex Therapist that Specializes in Sexual Identity Exploration.
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