Whenever people find out what I do for a living the first words out of their mouth is “I need therapy” or “I should go to therapy”. My first thought…”Yes you should.” I believe that everyone can benefit from having a person to talk to who has no emotional stake in the game. You don’t have to wait until you have experienced a crisis to warrant therapy. While many people do use therapy to process trauma, therapy is also helpful in learning more about yourself and how you want to navigate your life.
What to Know Before Starting Therapy
Not sure on where to start when looking for a therapist, here are some pointers to keep in mind.
The Therapist
The biggest indicator in therapy being helpful for a person is the relationship between you and the therapist. Find a therapist who you feel you connect with. Many therapists will provide a free phone consultation. Use this time to ask questions and discuss any certain issues or topics, ask the therapist about their expertise. Are you more goal oriented or do you want a safe space to process your feelings? Asking the therapist what modality they use will also help you gage if the therapist will be a good fit.
Be Honest
People can often feel that they have to put their best foot forward or they may be too embarrassed to tell a therapist about their thoughts or about things they did. However if you are not honest with the therapist chances are you are also not being honest with yourself. A therapist should never judge or shame you for your behaviors or reactions. The therapist is there to help you understand yourself and how you interact with the world. Without honestly the therapeutic relationship will suffer as well as the progress you are capable to making.
Consistency
Making therapy a consistent part of your life is key to having therapy be successful. If you only workout once a month you may feel better for a day or two, but soon as life starts to pile up, no real gains are made. If you only attend therapy once in a while or when something is “wrong”, you will interrupt the learning process and spend most of your sessions “putting out fires.” By attending therapy consistency you are providing a space for you to delve deep into your thought process and self growth.
Practice makes Permanent… Not Perfection
Keeping a therapy note book can be very beneficial. You may want to write down things discussed during session or thoughts you want to remember and try putting into practice during the week. Clients also use notebooks to write down thoughts or questions that come up during the week that they want to process during their next session.
Clients often come to therapy to learn new skills, such as communication, positive self talk or other self growth concepts. Keeping a notebook can help to remind you of the times in-between sessions where you have utilized the new skill or perhaps struggled to use the skill. Either way it reminds you that these are skills they need to practice through the week and not just discussed in the therapy room. When these skills are practiced and not just talked about it will help to make the changes you are seeking.
Therapy is not about making yourself perfect. However it is about understanding yourself and those around you. Learning to accept that we are all perfectly imperfect and we can make changes in our lives permanent and learn to accept they won’t be perfect.
