By: Dr. Lisa Gold, Founder and Executive Director at AZRI 

For those of you who are single, there are advantages to the single life. There are things you can do when you’re single that you cannot do when you are married. So dive in and take advantage of those things.  You can travel with your friends, spend your time and money without having to discuss it with anyone, and you can even drink out of them milk carton if you want to. You are completely in charge of your own happiness so make the most of this time. You are not likely to be single forever and you are more likely to meet someone worth developing a lasting relationship with if you are happy and enjoying the things that bring meaning to your life. Take this time in your life to become the person you would like to be. Focusing on your own growth as a human being will enhance your ability to find fulfillment in life regardless of any dreams that remain unfulfilled. As you continue to grow and fine tune yourself, you will attract others who are also committed to this type of growth. I firmly believe that the formula for a happy and healthy marriage is the commitment of both partners to continue to 1) grow personally, 2) nurture each other’s growth and 3) nurture and protect their relationship. Given this fact, starting good habits of commitment to personal growth is not only an important aspect of a fulfilling single life but also a great foundation for being able to create the type of relationship you desire once you meet that certain someone. 

We all have a lot to be grateful for. True, some of us have more in our life at this time than others. Be careful not to compare what you don’t have to what others have. Remember that what you see is only a snapshot of that person’s life. You do not know what they have gone through in the past or what difficulties may lay ahead for them. You may be comparing a snapshot of your darkest moment to a snapshot of their day in the sun. By any standards, this is an unfair comparison. 

The important thing is to remember that everything we have is a gift. Most of the things we cherish most are not the sole result of our own efforts, but that very least, some combination of our own effort, the efforts of others, and often an element of good fortune. Gratitude for what we have is fundamental to our happiness because it is only in recognizing these gifts that we are able to drink them all in and savor them. Doing so can be a sweet elixir to a hurting soul. It is in fact the difficult times when gratitude (defined as the recognition and appreciation of the gifts we do have) is needed most. Gratitude can be the spoonful of sugar we need to help us drink down the medicine we all must inevitably take as a part of this life.  

I also believe that gratitude helps propel us to use our gifts to somehow make the world a better place. When we truly recognize what we have been blessed with and we recognize these gifts are not merely a result of our own efforts, it can stir a desire within us to reach out to others in ways that others have reached out to us. The more we give, the more we receive, and a positive cycle that blesses our lives and the lives of others is put into motion. This is not to say that we should not maintain healthy boundaries and give more than we actually have to give. I’m talking about sharing the gifts you have – the things you enjoy or value – in a way that blesses the lives of others. For instance, if you’re a chef you could cater a party for a children’s ward at the hospital to give them a break from hospital food. If you enjoy cycling, enter a cycling event that raises money for a worthy cause. Service to others does not have to be drudgery in order to “count.” Find your passions (the things that bring the most meaning, fulfillment and joy) pursue them and then share them. Focus on what you have and what you can do instead of what you don’t have and can’t do. Then devote your time and energy toward maximizing your gifts and utilizing them more fully in your life. This is the highest form of gratitude. Ultimately, this is what I believe life is all about.