As the New Year approaches, we are sure to hear “New Year, New You”. You may even be hearing this from yourself. This is the year!!! The year you are going to lose weight, get your finances in order, good back to school…Get your life together. While it is not uncommon to want to set goals for the new year, it is uncommon to still be working or holding to those goals come mid-March.
So how do we set goals and give ourselves the best chance of reaching them? Well, much of that has to do with how we are setting those goals. It is essential to approach goal setting with intention and mindfulness. Use the following 5 steps to set goals for the best chance of reaching them and experiencing the “New Year, New You” everyone talks about.
The Therapist’s Toolkit: Crafting Meaningful Goals for the New Year
Step 1: Reflect on the Past Year: Before setting goals for the future, it’s important to reflect on the past year. As a therapist, I encourage clients to take stock of their achievements, challenges, and areas for growth. Reflecting on what went well and what could have been better is crucial for laying a solid foundation for setting meaningful New Year goals. If done right, this can be difficult to do. We have to be willing to sit in uncomfortable spaces and think about areas where we did not show up how we would have liked and what caused us to show up in the manner we did. Learning to own what we need to own is a huge area of growth and where we need to be honest with ourselves. It can be hard and uncomfortable but will also lead you to real areas of growth.
Step 2: Identify Your Values: When was the last (or first) time you sat down and wrote out what your values are as an individual, couple or family? Goals that are aligned with your core values tend to be more fulfilling and empowering. Take some time to identify your values—the principles and qualities that matter most to you. Are you striving for better relationships, improved health, career advancement, or personal development? Clarifying your values will guide you towards setting goals that resonate with your authentic self.
Step 3: Be SMART: Therapy is one of the many places where the SMART framework is used to set goals. Becoming familiar with and applying this approach to your new year’s goals can bring clarity and structure to your aspirations.
Specific: Think about what it is you want to achieve; then break it down. Then break it down again. Keep breaking it down until it is as specific as possible. “I want to lose weight”, is not specific. What are you truly looking to do, do you want to gain muscle, lose fat, become more flexible? How are you planning on accomplishing this. Change your diet? Lift weights? Start Yoga?
Measurable: Establish clear criteria on how you want to measure your progress. Will it be the number of times you go to the gym? How many days in a week do you prioritize self-care?
Achievable: Ensure your goals are realistic and attainable. Setting the bar too high can lead to discouragement, while aiming too low may not push you to grow. Find the sweet spot that challenges you while being feasible.
Relevant: Do your goals align with your values and broader life aspirations. Ensure they are meaningful to you and contribute to your overall well-being.
Time-Bound: Assign a timeline to your goals to keep yourself accountable. Set deadlines or milestones along the way to monitor your progress and make adjustments if needed. If you are not hitting the milestones, stop and reevaluate the goal. Does it align with your values? Is it realistic? Dose it possibly need to be broken down more. Don’t give up; but do take time to look at the goal again.
STEP 4: Self-Compassion: Goal setting often goes hand-in-hand with self-criticism and perfectionism. As a therapist, I encourage cultivating self-compassion throughout the goal-setting process. Speak to yourself the same way you would your friend, child, or dog if they were trying to reach a goal. When a toddler is learning to walk and they take those first few steps and fall, you don’t say “you’re so stupid, if you couldn’t do it the first time you will never walk.” No, you encourage them…” come on baby you can do it just keep trying.” Practice that same compassion with yourself. Remember, setbacks and challenges are natural. Be kind to yourself when you encounter obstacles. Self-compassion allows you to learn from setbacks and rebounds with renewed determination.
Step 5: Seek Support: Change is hard, and having support can make all the difference. Reach out to loved ones, get an accountability partner. The two of you don’t have to be working on the same goal to hold each other accountable. Consider working with a therapist to help you navigate the ups and downs of your goal-setting journey. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can provide encouragement, accountability, and valuable insights.
Therapy for Setting Goals
Setting goals in the new year can be an empowering and transformative process when approached with intention. By working through the above 5 steps, you can set yourself up for success in the coming year. Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination. Embrace the growth and self-discovery that accompanies your pursuit of these goals.
May this new year bring you fulfillment, resilience, and abundant opportunities for personal growth.
Be Mindful, stay compassionate with yourself and Have Fun…
