The Arizona Relationship Institute, Author at Arizona Relationship Institute

December 15, 2024December 3, 2024

What Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Arizona - AZRI

Pain, grief, disappointment, illness, and anxiety are inevitable features of human life… no matter how hard you try and shield yourself from these negatives, you will encounter them at various phases in your life. ACT Therapy teaches you to accept these inevitabilities and adapt to them – psychologically strengthening yourself, and building up defenses to protect you from the negatives hurting so deeply.

How To Develop “Thick Skin”

The phrase, “Learn to Develop Thick Skin…” is blunt and to-the-point, but is very practical, and is exactly what ACT Therapy does for you, metaphorically. It teaches you to not let hurtful things hurt you so much. It helps you to let-go of pain, grief, disappointment, illness and anxiety and not let these negatives affect you for extended periods of time or cause long periods of depression.

Within just a few sessions of ACT Therapy, you really will start to develop a thicker skin and will notice that even-though your problems still exist, they don’t seem to be bothering you as much.

What Can Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Help With?

Any negative in life that affects you deeply can be “softened” with ACT Therapy. It hardens your natural defenses and keeps you prepared for a attack of negativity in life; with your defenses-up, you won’t get “sucker-punched” or caught of guard by an attack of life’s negativities.

- Learn to Not Take Things So Personally — are you the type of person that obsesses over little things for long periods of time, and let it affect your mood and personality? ACT Can Help!
- Learn to Accept Criticism — Criticism, even constructive criticism, can cut like a knife (if you let it). With the “thick skin” that ACT Therapy provides, you can learn to not let criticism affect you negatively, which allows you to study the criticism as positive feedback rather than a sharp attack.
- Challenge Negative Voices In Your Head — One critic that usually only gives bad feedback and unhelpful criticism is the voice in your head. You will always be overly-critical of yourself if you only have 1 voice in your head and you allow it to tell you what to do. ACT Therapy teaches you how to counter that voice in your head with a second “voice of reason.” While voice 1 may tell you that you are worthless and offer only negativity, voice 2 argues back in your defense and builds your confidence.
- Learn to Engage Situations and Experiences That Scare You — ACT Therapy can help you to overcome your anxiety about the unknown and upcoming obligations or situations that give you fear or anxiety. It teaches you to accept the situation and engage with it to the best of your abilities. As your strength and confidence grows, you can take on bigger obstacles and experiences that once gave you too much anxiety to even think about.
- Learn to Enter a “Growth Mindset” — The ultimate goal of ACT Therapy is to be so strong and confident, and have such a thick skin, that you are not only defending yourself perfectly against negatives, but you go on the offensive: hunting-down experiences that once frightened you, and striving to overcome more obstacles in your life.

How Does ACT Therapy Work?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) works by using acceptance strategies in combination with mindfulness to help ease the mind’s fear enough to bend the brain’s natural defenses against pain, anxiety, fear, grief, etc. While not completely breaking the defenses, the malleability allows for psychological flexibility. Much like a flexible bumper of a car is more resilient to damage than a rigid metal panel, so your mind becomes against damage and attacks.

Replacing Shame with Acceptance

“Acceptance” is one of the main tenets of ACT Therapy. Acceptance is the positive outcome of nearly all negative emotions, thoughts, and feelings. “Shame” is the opposite of acceptance, and is a very negative emotion that one can carry with them for years, if not properly dealt-with. Shame is the power the negative voice in your head uses to keep you down. Shame is the feeling that makes you feel worthless or less than others. It is also the negative emotion that allows traumatic experiences to continue to hurt you for years after they have already transpired.

Shame is one of the most toxic emotions a person can experience, and shame must be “let-go” in order to overcome the experiences that trigger the shame. The fastest way to overcoming shame is through acceptance. Acceptance is the final stage of the stages of grief, and it is also the final stage of processing the negative emotions of: pain, anxiety, disappointment, and illness. It is the final phase of reaction to a negative stimuli and offers a soothing positive affect to the mind.

Commitment Therapy

Commitment is simply engaging instead of running away; engaging your fears and anxieties, engaging triggers for depression or mental conditions, and engaging fully with your will. This means that you don’t do anything half-way, nor do you hesitate to jump-in. You become compulsive in your engagement of positive experiences and situations.

A strong commitment is like having a strong will, or a resilience to succeed against adversity. It is the strength that is left over after you have overcome shame, found your own self-worth, and want to move from the negative towards the positive. A person holding a lot of shame, anxiety, and other negativities might actually fear this part in the beginning, and that is completely natural. That is a sign that the negatives have a hold in your mind.

Therapists For Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

At AZRI, our therapists use and employ a lot of different psychotherapies and therapy techniques. All of our therapists are competent with ACT Therapy, and use the premises and foundations of the therapy in individual therapy sessions — where appropriate. Couples Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be helpful for dealing with both marital therapy and sex therapy.

“Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is an empirically supported psychotherapy that offers promise for patients suffering from a wide range of mental and physical conditions, while addressing these gaps and challenges in the field.” — SOURCE

Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Right For Me?

Most likely, the premises of ACT Therapy are indeed right for you, as they are used in everything from Grief Therapy to Individual Counseling for Trauma. We implore others interested in ACT Therapy to continue to research more on how it works, and schedule a consultation to see if it fits into your needs for therapy.

December 1, 2024December 2, 2024

Beware of Cell Phone Addiction and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Your cell phone is the most potentially-dangerous device in your possession, when it comes to your mental health. Many individuals now go through their day “glued” to their phones, unable to put them down for more than a few minutes at a time. This is incredibly unhealthy for the mind.

Cell Phone Addiction

Addiction to your phone is a very real thing. Modern cell phones, the games and apps on them, social media, and even the operating system itself is designed to be a dopamine-release device.

- You get a “hit” of feel-good chemicals released in your brain when you see new notifications on apps.
- Endless scrolling is meant to lock you into a “feed” as you derive sensory pleasure from the images shown in quick succession.
- News Headlines and little bits of information keep you feeling like you are “connected” and “up-to-date” on all important matters.
- You begin to turn to your phone when you need to feel better (texting someone for support, posting on social media, or endless scrolling to distract yourself from your feelings). Self-medicating your mental health woes with your cell phone begins to happen quickly — as most people feel phones and the pleasure they can give as innocent or not as dangerous as using drugs or alcohol to get the same feelings of pleasure.

Cell Phone Addiction and Codependency

Co-dependency is when someone is dependent on another person to help them, to the point where it is toxic and negative for both parties. Co-dependency goes beyond simply helping another person, and creates a situation where the co-dependent individual begins to take advantage of the individual offering help. This “taking advantage” is called “Enabling” a co-dependent individual.

Enabling a Co-Dependent Addict is NOT Helping Them

Allowing someone’s mental health and addiction issues to go-on untreated is NOT helping. If the “helping” allows the addict to continue their unhealthy habits, rather than helping them to overcome them, then it is simply not “help” at all. For example, if you help a drug addict to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and addictions, you are allowing them to continue to use drugs and possibly endanger themselves.

With cell phone addiction, allowing a person to continue with their unhealthy cell phone habits, or contributing to their unhealthy cell phone habits, is not helping them and is only enabling the addict further.

Constant Calling and Texting with Cell Phone Addiction

Texting and calling becomes “obsessive” with a cell phone addiction, and goes far beyond healthy “check-ins.” Many cell phone addicts need to text or call family and friends multiple times per day (whenever they are feeling low, lonely, or ’empty’). The texts and calls may have no point to them (just reaching out for any response for validation), or an individual may start problems or create drama just for a reason to text and call others.

Social Media and Cell Phone Addiction

Social Media platforms like Facebook (Meta), Instagram, Snapchat, Etc. are all designed to be heavily addictive, so they can keep your attention and keep you using the apps more and more. These apps actively create new features that grab your attention and hold it, regardless of whether or not it is healthy for your mindset. Social Media in 2024 more resembles slot-machine design than good user-interface and features that people want.

Social media was never as addictive as it is now that it is on a cell phone. The negative and addictive nature of cell phones, coupled with that of social media apps, creates a perfect storm of addictive behavioral practices and puts it in your hand at all times.

Gambling Addiction and Cell Phone Addiction

Gambling addiction has spread like a wildfire in recent years, and it can all be tied back to one point — when “betting” apps became popular on cell phones. For years, severe gambling addicts had struggled with online casinos and computer-based betting games that allowed them to continue their gambling addictions from the comfort of their own homes. When these jumped from a stationary computer to right in the palm of their hands, gambling addicts now were able to gamble and continue their disease 24/7.

Fantasy Sports, Cell Phone Betting Apps, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Did you know that OCD sufferers are more likely to suffer from alcohol use disorders, drug use, and addiction disorders? Did you know that those with OCD are more prone to betting and gambling habits? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder makes you both “Obsessive” and “Compulsive.”

Those with gambling and betting problems tend to be obsessive about “tips” or an “edge” they feel they have. Many are also obsessive over numbers or connections and their “hidden meanings.” Many gamblers are obsessed with “hitting big,” or trying to achieve the jackpot of a lifetime, and it takes over their lives. Gambling is more about obsession than luck or skill when it takes over your life.

Compulsiveness can accompany obsession, or a person can be thoughtlessly compulsive. Either way, a compulsive person never makes a good gambler. Compulsive disorders are characterized by a person taking actions without giving thought to the reaction and consequences of that action. In-short, a compulsive gambler does not think about consequence of their bet (win or lose), they are stuck in the moment and get their pleasure from the action of the bet — not necessarily the prospect of winning.

When you have a gambling problem and the casino is right in your hand at all moments of the day, it allows you to obsess about it all day. It also allows you to make compulsive bets quickly without having to think about it too much. This makes online betting and gambling apps incredibly dangerous to those with a gambling addiction, and treating the addiction to the phone is the first priority.

Cell Phone Addiction and Relationship Issues

At AZRI, a good majority of the relationship issues we see between couples have something to do with cell phones. Jealousy issues stem from Instagram for both men and women. Misunderstood text messages (either between couples or texts to a third party) cause a lot of today’s problems between otherwise happy couples. Cell phone addiction is one of the most poisonous habits that can ruin a relationship, as your total attention is taken away from you and those you love, and it is focused squarely on your phone and what it decides to show you.

Cell Phones Cause Bad Moods

Waking up and checking your phone first thing in the morning is a terrible way to start your day, because your mood for the following activities is going to be tainted by your first morning experience with the phone. Something as simple as a depressing headline or post from a friend can spoil the rest of your day. This carries over into your love life and your relationship with family, and many other problems can grow from this point.

Many couples who successfully overcome the issues that cell phones cause are surprised to see how strong a hold the one device had over their emotions and actions.

Couples Therapy For Cell Phone Addiction

Many couples BOTH share a cell phone addiction, and both need help to re-learn how to live and love without a cell phone in the mix. At AZRI, our couples therapists can help you to remove the thorn in your life and learn how to be happy again without all the complications that technology brings to life.

We encourage all couples that have had a fight over cell phone use, or apps to try and take a break from their cell phones to see if that helps. If you find the time without a cell phone was beneficial, or cannot put down the phone long enough to try, then you should consider seeking couples therapy for cell phone addiction.

November 15, 2024November 1, 2024

LGBTQ+ Therapy: Understanding the Spectrum of Sexual Fluidity

What Is LGBTQ+ Informed Therapy?

At Arizona Relationship Institute, we use the term “LGBTQ+ Informed” to describe many of our therapists. Like other types of “Informed Therapies” (Trauma-Informed Therapy, Addiction-Informed Therapy, etc.) it designates that the therapists themselves are “informed” on the topics stated. This means that they have the training, knowledge, and capabilities of therapeutically helping individuals with those topics — should those skills be needed.

For example, a “Trauma-Informed Therapist” may work with someone who has never experienced trauma in their life, though the therapist has the skills and understanding — if it should be needed. This is important because many times therapists will uncover hidden or suppressed traumatic memories and experiences. These can be uncovered in a split second during therapy, so it is important for the therapist to be equipped with the knowledge and skills to handle the situation — should it arise.

LGBTQ+ Informed Therapists

Similarly, an LGBTQ+ Informed Therapist works with all types of patients — even patients with no connections to LGBTQ+ culture, sexuality, or urges. Yet, the therapist is armed with a broad understanding of the sexual and gender spectrums. Their expansive knowledge on sex and sexuality give them an expert and master’s view on the topics, which in-turn helps them to answer a wide range of questions on sex and intimate relationships.

LGBTQ+ Therapists can help those with questions about sex and sexuality and answer from a more informed standpoint, than therapists without this knowledge and understanding.

Sexual Fluidity and Spectrum Sexuality

Sex is not strictly polar; it is not black and white, there are many shades of grey in between. The varying degrees of people’s sexuality make up a spectrum that is as diverse as the people who are included in it. There is not just straight or gay, there are a number of degrees between these two ends of the spectrum. There is not just gay, straight an bi-sexual either — there is a spectrum between these designations that also exists.

Why is it important? Because just as important as it is for someone to create descriptors that designate common points on the spectrum (like Straight, Gay, or Bi), it is equally important for those between those points to have a descriptor that they can relate-to. These descriptors are often called “Labels” — which in-itself is a bad name, ad the word “label” has its own connotations.

Navigating the Connotations of Sexual Terms and Labels

Labels are fine enough for getting a general descriptor of a person, their personality, and their overall sexual identity; but they are very generalized, and generalization often leads to misunderstanding. To make matters worse, many of the common labels have developed their own connotations and stigmas over the years, this can make a person uncomfortable with being attributed to a label. A person may not like being labeled as “gay,” if this is not the term they feel best describes their own identity.

Instead of getting hung-up on the existing labels and connotations, people need to look into their own hearts and trust their own feelings and intuitions. Create your own story and identity! This is why we at AZRI use the term “LGBTQ+” to describe the wide range of sexual identities – “+” stands for the infinite possibilities of ways to describe one’s sexuality and sexual identity.

Your Sexual Past Does Not Necessarily Create Your Sexual Identity

Nor do your sexual urges create your identity. You alone create your identity, and this is what an LGBTQ+ Informed Therapist helps you to understand. You are more than just straight, gay, or in-between, and thinking only inside of that box can sometimes lead you to develop sexual problems, both mental and physical.

Dealing With Spectrum Sexual Urges in a “Straight” Relationship

Because the sexual spectrum is so fluid, a persons sexual desires can change throughout their lives. A self-identified man can have sexual attractions towards women primarily for most of their lives and develop sexual attractions to men later. Likewise, a young man can have sexual attractions toward men early in life and lose those attractions later in life. The same is true with self-identified women. The fluidity of the sexual spectrum is not only diverse among different individuals, but is diverse within individuals themselves.

If you develop or continually have sexual urges that do not fit within your current sexual or relational situation, you are going to feel conflicted until you learn how to deal with the urges and make them fit into your current sexual identity and situation, or re-evaluate your identity and situation.

Sexual Desires, Your Life, and Your Identity

Always put your life and your safety ahead of your sexual urges! This is the critical important lesson that all sexually active individuals must remember. Sex is a beautiful and pleasing act, but it can also be dangerous. While we do encourage individuals to explore their own sexual identity, we must remind everyone of the dangers of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs and STIs), and the psychological dangers of sex.

The Hidden Dangers of Sexuality

Sex addiction is real and can cause your life to spiral out of control just like with addiction to drugs and alcohol. Make sure that you keep “grounded” about sex and you keep your sex healthy and free from “extremes” that may negatively alter your perception on sex and sexuality. Don’t let your desires become “obsessions”, as obsessive thoughts and actions are extremely unhealthy and can negatively affect other corners of your life.

Don’t Put Sexual Urges Over What Is Important In Your Life

Don’t derail your life over sexual urges and don’t change who you are based off your sexual desires and identities. Remember to put your life’s priorities over everything else – including your relationships. Your career goals, life goals, and philosophical/spiritual goals supersede everything else.

Likewise, remember to separate your partner or someone you care about from your sexual urges. Those you care about, and your family should come in second in your life, just behind caring for yourself first.

How LGBTQ+ Informed Therapists and Counselors Can Help You Avoid Sexual and Identity Misdirection

While we are very happy that LGBTQ+ issues and culture has been more prominently included in media and culture in recent years, this has also become a problem for the people that identify with LGBTQ+. Popularity also draws a lot of negative associations. More LGBTQ+ individuals are getting scammed, subjected to psychological attacks (via media, marketing, social media, etc.), and mislead than ever before in history. You can’t believe everything you hear online or from friends, and this is very true with LGBTQ+ sexuality topics.

There is a lot of propaganda going around that tells you that if you identify as LGBTQ+ then you should also (THIS). This kind of thinking defies the openness and fluidify that LGBTQ+ stands for. There is also a lot of division and separation being driven in popular cultural LGBTQ+ topics; be sure to rise above the division and focus on your own love and identity.

Don’t let popular media opinions about LGBTQ+ topics define YOUR opinion on the topics. You have your own opinion, embrace it and let it be your guide.

Looking for a Healthy Conversation About Your Sexuality?
Talk to an LGBTQ+ Informed Therapist:

October 31, 2024October 31, 2024

Working Through Infidelity: And Re-Building Relationships

Infidelity, cheating, jealousy, and betrayal are some of the darkest and most hurtful acts a person can experience. These acts not only hurt our relationships with others, they hurt how we see and treat ourselves also. Healing the wounds of betrayal and infidelity is crucial-to healing your mind and spirit, and to having healthy relationships again in the future.

What Is Betrayal?

A betrayal is defined as a “Deliberate act of disloyalty.” We may suffer a number betrayals throughout our lives, betrayals of our senses, our trust, or our love. Children can betray their parents’ trust, and vice-versa; spouses can betray each others’ trust, love, fidelity, kindness; betrayals can happen between friends, family, and business co-workers. People share all types of of bonds between them, and when those bonds are broken, it causes feelings of betrayal in one or both individuals.

Getting Over Family Betrayals

Feelings of betrayal in a family can happen for any number of reasons: new spouses not being accepted into the family (or feeling like they are not accepted), financial issues, family substance abuse issues, codependency, blended family issues, etc.

Getting over family betrayals can take even longer than other forms of betrayal, due to the complex structure of families. Bitterness, hurt feelings, feelings of betrayal and distrust can linger on for years if not resolved properly. Family counselors assist families in getting over betrayal by tackling all of the separate issues one-at-a-time; and by working with the individual family members to resolve any negative feelings that are built-up inside.

Infidelity as Betrayal

Infidelity (or cheating) has been called “the ultimate form of betrayal” and can affect a wider circle than just those in the intimate relationship (marriage, serious relationship, etc.). Infidelity in a marriage can cause feelings of betrayal in the immediate family members, including children, extended family, in-laws, and close friends.

For this reason, it is important for those working through infidelity to consider how it is affecting those around them. Remember that even though an affair may have been a private matter at the time, its repercussions and fallout is affecting more than just the two or more people involved in cheating and infidelity. Many people can feel betrayed by the actions of a few.

Overcoming Blame and Shame

Infidelity and betrayal is a very big hazard blocking the road of life; you MUST get over or around life’s hazards in order to keep moving FORWARD. “Blame” and “Shame” are two actions that will only keep you stuck where you are at and NOT moving forward. It is important to overcome your own negative feelings and not get stuck casting blame or shame about past events.

Shame is a very toxic feeling, and casting shame onto another person (making them feel bad about their past actions) will only poison your relationship. Instead of pointing at the problem in the road of life and telling someone, “This is your fault,” you should instead work together to get around the hazard in the road.

Blame is equally toxic, and weakens the foundations of your relationship. Never blame your problems or issues on one half of the couple; you are parts of the same unit, and you win together and lose together. Its not the fault of the right hand of a player for missing the ball, the player himself missed the ball.

No one is “To blame” for anything negative — Blame is too powerful of a negative action and leaves people feeling deeply bad. It is best to leave the blame out of conversations and arguments, because it only serves to hurt and worsen problems.

Learning to Trust After Past Infidelities

Many good relationships are hurt by just the fear and anxiety about infidelity and betrayal. Jealousy is a hideous feeling and emotion that steals your own happiness away from you. Jealousy issues can ruin relationships even without any cheating or infidelity; jealousy uses the weapons of blame and shame, and casts negativity on yourself and your partner.

Trust issues lay at the heart of jealousy issues; many people get jealous simply from not being able to cope with their own fears and insecurities. They then project those negative feelings onto their partner in the forms of shame, blame, and animosity. Love with trust issues is not true and is not unconditional love, and you have to learn to love in spite of your fears.

Counseling for Trust and Jealousy Issues

It is highly recommended that individuals and couples seek knowledgeable help from a therapist or relationship counselor that understands how couples can overcome serious relationship issues such as jealousy. If you want your relationship to climb to the highest heights of the metaphorical mountain, you need to get over your fear of heights.

Overcoming Chronic Infidelity and Serial Cheating

Serial cheating is unfortunately a real thing, and some people who have cheated in the past will continue to cheat in the future. The problem with serial cheaters lives deep inside their minds, just like those with alcohol and substance use disorders. Serial cheaters continue to cheat because they are simply trying to fix feelings and emotions inside of them.

Some cheat because of their own hateful and negative emotions about the opposite/same sex/gender. Some think that they will take what they want (sexually) and they have a right-to because all (men or women) deserve it. Deep-rooted feelings have caused this thinking, and it is important to find where it started and developed-from. Childhood trauma, or simply feelings of low self-worth could be at the center of the cheating issue; and therefore it is possible to treat chronic infidelity and serial cheating by treating the mental issues at the core.

Treating the Mental Health Issues Caused By Infidelity and Cheating

Likewise, the act of being cheated-on and the betrayal associated with it can cause a person to develop negative mental health issues, negative outlooks on sex and gender, negative thoughts and feelings about sex and sexuality, and negative associations with sex.

It is important for someone who has been cheated-on to healthily recover from the trauma that cheating causes. Infidelity and Betrayal Therapy is recommended for men and women who have been deeply impacted by cheating, betrayal and infidelity.

Relationship Therapy For All Types of Relationships

Relationships are complex. They have their ups and downs, they need maintained, aligned, and fixed from time-to-time — just like machines. And much like machines, you don’t want to wait for the problem to get worse before you take it seriously. Get help for a problem at the earliest sign of one, and it is more likely that that problem can be fixed easily.

Are you ready to fix or maintain your relationship wit your significant other?

October 1, 2024October 1, 2024

Couples Grief Counseling: Strengthening Bonds While Grieving

Grief is an overwhelming and sneaky emotion — it’s symptoms are similar to sadness and depression, but permeates every facet of your life including parts of your life you wouldn’t normally expect. Grief can also have a significant impact on your relationships with others; with family, friends, and especially your significant other. A couple that grieves together in a positive way can achieve new heights in their relationship, while improperly grieving can cause problems or exacerbate relationship problems to a breaking point.

How To Grieve In A Positive Way

Death is a natural part of life, and those who have a healthy outlook-on and acceptance-of death tend to grieve more easily, productively, and positively, than those with unresolved issues-with or a fear-of death. Allowing the symptoms of grief (sadness, intense sorrow, isolation, guilt, self-blame, etc.) to overcome you is NOT dealing with grief in a positive way.

The Grieving Process

The grieving process is the expected routine that a person will go-through after suffering an intense loss. The loss could be the death of a loved one, a pet, a close friend, or it could even be the loss of a job/opportunity, the loss of a home, or any traumatic loss. After the initial shock of the loss, a person usually goes through the stages of grief.

What Are The Stages of Grief

Therapists and professionals use a 5 or 7-stage model for the stages of grief. The 5-stage model for grief is as follows:

1. 1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

The 7-stage model for grief is as follows:

1. 1. Shock and Denial
  2. Pain and Guilt
  3. Anger and Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. The Upward Turn
  6. Reconstruction and Walkthrough
  7. Acceptance

Professional Grief Therapists tend to like the 7-phase grief model because it shows that there are 2 steps between Depression and Acceptance. These steps outline what needs to happen for depression to turn to acceptance, and for the phases to complete with closure.

There are certainly some cases of complex grief that last a lifetime, and this is primarily because the person grieving is never able to get out of their depression and reconstruct their life. For this reason, it is so important to recognize the “hidden steps” of the 7-step model of the grief process, and to do the work to turn things upward and start reconstruction and rebuilding.

How Death, Grief, and Loss Affects Couples

Couples are 2 parts of 1 unit. They live-together and breathe-together… all experiences are shared between the couple; both the good and the bad. When grief and loss hit a couple, it hits them both very hard individually, and it hits them hard as a couple. As an individual, a person needs to go through a personal grieving process; but as a couple, there is a separate grieving process where you mourn the loss of a person and what they meant to you as a couple.

The loss of parents and friends can hit couples especially hard; and have an impact on the entire family: kids, extended family, etc. These added stresses put even more pressure on the couple, and even the those couples with iron-strong bonds can bow to the pressures.

Some couples may have needed couples therapy before grieving, simply for the marital or spousal issues they are encountering. When you add grief on top, the need for counseling and therapy becomes urgent. Too many couples wait to deal with their own intimacy problems until something dramatic and shocking wakes them up to the need for help. By then, the emotions have built up even higher.

Separating Grief Issues From Intimacy & Relationship Issues

It is difficult to try and fix 2 problems at once. It is easier to focus on just 1 problem, fix that problem, then move onto the next problem. This is how relationship problems need to be attacked: one by one, while still looking at the big picture. Whether the relationship is with a family member, a friend, or an intimate relationship, it is always important to separate the grief issues from the relationship issues.

Family Relationship Issues and Grief

Another common problem that arises after a death in a family is that familial problems that have been sitting silent for years may come back to the surface. Tensions may run high between family members, and the emotions caused by the grief can be overwhelming; family members may say or do things they regret, and arguments can start or re-start.

Family Issues After The Death of a Loved One are some of the most heartbreaking and intense emotions a human being can experience. Grief and loss are hard enough without added pressures from family, friends, or family and friends of the deceased. It is very important to work these problems out and not let them sit and fester; or else a person is in danger of becoming stuck in the “Anger and Bargaining” phase of the process of grief.

Anger Issues, Grief, and Loss

Anger and temper issues are often associated with grief, loss and death — particularly unresolved feelings and emotions associated with grief, loss and death. Again, it is so important for humans to go through all the steps of the grieving process for them to finally find closure, mental clarity, and to free themselves from guilt and other negative feelings. Those that are not able to overcome their anger, are in-turn overcome by their anger.

It is important for couples to not let their anger overcome them in the relationship. Anger must be controlled and overcome by your unconditional love for each other. Couples may need to seek couples anger therapy if they are only arguing and not making and progress in their arguments. This uncontrolled anger is like poison and needs to be bled-out, or diffused. Couples Anger Management Therapists can help couples to resolve differences enough to let-go of the anger and to start working together again.

Unresolved Loss and Grief Therapy for Individuals and Couples

For widows and widowers who have been working to rebuild and start a new life, the negative emotions of grief can always come back to haunt them. Starting a new relationship after the death of a significant other is a positive process, but can be sabotaged by unnecessary feelings of shame or guilt from unresolved grief.

It is so important to move-on with your life after the death of a loved one, because you HAVE TO. You are still alive and cannot just lay down and die. Couples Therapists can help you to build a new life after experiencing the greatest of losses.

Grief Therapy for Couples, Individuals, and Families in Arizona

There are so many in Arizona suffering with loss and grief. The Grief Therapists at The Arizona Relationship Institute can help you to understand your personal emotional losses, deal with the stages of guilt, and rebuild our life into a positive one after overcoming grief.

September 15, 2024September 1, 2024

Managing Neurodivergent Stress, Anxiety, and Burnout

Stress , anxiety, and burnout are affecting a lot of people currently, and neurodivergents especially are facing a hard time. Neurodivergents are people whose thoughts and minds simply work differently than the majority of people. These types of minds are more creative, intelligent, and often more productive; but, they are also more sensitive to negative affects like stress, anxiety, fear, worry, compulsive, and obsessive thoughts.

What is Neurodivergence?

Learn all about what neurodiversity is and entails in our complete guide HERE >>

What Is “Mental Burnout?”

“Mental Burnout” is a condition that happens when an overworked brain has hit its processing compacity. Just like an over-worked muscle suffers cramping and other physical ailments from overwork, an over-worked brain also displays negative or painful symptoms. Headaches, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and even seizures can occur in extreme cases of mental burnout. Every person can get mental burnout regardless of whether they are neurodivergent.

Herbert Freudenberger coined the term “burnout” in 1974, defining it as: “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one’s devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”

Why Do Neurodivergents Get “Burned Out?”

Neurodivergents are more likely to get mental burnout, because their minds are more sensitive and tend to work at high speeds anyway. Those with ADD, ADHD, and attention or focus problems are not only more susceptible to burnout and “crashing” after long periods of focus/obsession. Those with autism and neurodivergents that also suffer from learning or mental challenges can get burned out in times of frustration, or if they are pushed harder than they are ready-for.

Creative neurodivergents can also go on long spells of creative burnout, artist’s block, and loss of motivation. Neurodivergents tend to have extreme highs and lows in their motivations, like those with Bipolar Disorder (BPD), although a neurodivergent person as a bit more control over the swings (in-that they push the high times to an extreme to where burnout and crash occurs).

Obsessive Thoughts and Mental Burnout

Even those who are not neurodivergent know that thinking of the same thing over and over again tires your mind. When your mind is tired, a whole lot of other negative mental and physical symptoms follow. Obsessive thoughts can wear out your mind and put you into a state of burnout. This is common in non-neurodivergents that experience trauma, shock, and extremely stressful situations.

It is important to unwind your mind, and learn to stop obsessive thoughts before they cause burnout. Burnout prevention techniques can be learned with the help of a therapist.

What Are The Symptoms of Burnout?

Prolonged stress will cause a burnout in any time of person: neurodivergents and non-neurodivergents. It is important to know and recognize the symptoms of burnout if you are going through a extended length of time of stress and anxiety.

- Fatigue
- Loss of Interest
- Loss of Pleasure
- Concentration and Focus Issues
- Depression, Sadness, Melancholia
- Chronic Headaches
- Sleeplessness and Sleep Issues
- Gastrointestinal Issues
- High Blood Pressure
- Nightmares
- Feelings of Worthlessness

When you are feeling exhausted, hate your job, can’t stand your day-to-day life, and feel like you are not performing well at anything anymore, you have burnout.

Neurodivergent Anxiety

Those categorized as “Neurodivergent” are usually more prone to generalized anxiety and panic attacks. Neurodivergents often need more time to “get over” something stressful that has happened. They need to process what happened and debrief themselves multiple times until their minds are satisfied. In times of chronic stress and anxiety — when a neurodivergent has less time to process between stressors — burnout is more likely to occur.

Preventing Burnout in Neurodivergent Children

This is extremely important for parents of neurodivergent children to understand; neurodivergents need time to process stress, and should not be overloaded with more stress when they are struggling already. This will lead to burnout, and — during the adolescent years — can hamper a child’s future.

High School Burnout and Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity states that each mind learns and processes information differently, and that neurodivergents’ minds work in a way that is very different from what society defines as “normal.” High School is much like a “normalcy test” for teens, as it pushes a bunch of different-shaped teens through a square hole.

Those with neurodiversity often struggle during high school, as they feel they simply do not fit in, or are different. The stress from this and other stressors of high school and adolescense often become too much, and many high schoolers suffer from burnout. Burnout and hopelessness is the number 1 reason given for dropping out of high school, and can be avoided by avoiding high school burnout.

Therapy for Stress and Burnout

Now that we know how burnout occurs, how do you reverse it? How can someone unwind all the tiny stressors that have them wound into a tight ball of anxiety? You are your own best therapist in many cases, but burnout is not one of them. Burnout is past the “point of no return” when you need to seek help from another to start putting things in order. Life coaches are great at getting you out of the rut that burnout causes and into a better, healthier lifestyle where you can deal with your own problems again.

Therapists that treat stress and burnout attack your problems like a tight knot, slowly unwinding your stress until you feel relieved and can start to think and concentrate again.

Therapy for Burnout in Mesa, AZ

The Arizona Relationship Institute offers individual therapy, couples therapy, and family therapy, and find that chronic stress and burnout is a core problem affecting many people. Burnout can be the “root” of all your problems if you cannot deal with it yourself. We implore those that are feeling burned out and have lost their motivation and passion for life to contact AZRI or a local certified therapist and counselor for help.

August 31, 2024

Therapy for Financial Stress

There are “Boom Times” and there are “Bust Times,” in life, business, relationships, and every other facet of life. The key to is to find a way to do your best and be happy in the best of times and the worst of times. Therapists help you to sail through life when the seas get rough, and can help you through the toughest of life’s storms, including financial stress.

The vows of marriage cite that both individuals will stick together: “…in sickness, and in health, and in good times and bad…” This is because bad times are inevitable; you cannot completely avoid the rough times in life, and it is in these rough times when you need to stick close to your family and loved ones.

How to Get Over Financial Anxiety

Anxiety is simply fear of the unknown, and this is very clear with financial anxiety. Most people get financial anxiety BEFORE their financial situation gets bad. So, this leaves plenty of time for you to get prepared, and to calm your anxieties — which only hamper your mental clarity and health. With a solid financial plan for the future, your anxiety is kept from being at the front of your mind.

Dealing with Worries About Money in a Family

Get the whole family on the same page, and make sure that everyone is both aware of the financial situation, and knows that the family is working together to better the situation and get back to a more secure financial foundation. Remember to ease your spouse, children, and family members’ anxiety also.

Don’t Let Financial Stress Come in the Way of Love and Relationships

Love, family, and connections between 2 or more people are greater than money. Don’t let your stress about financial security or money ruin your relationships with a spouse, children or family. Also, never let your financial situation hold you back from pursuing relationships. Never think that you need to be rich or more financially stable before others will love you — this keeps many people from taking chances and finding true love that supersedes material things.

Don’t Let Financial Stress Keep You From Doing Healthy Activities

When times get tight, cut out the unhealthy expenses that do not contribute to your overall betterment and mental/physical health. $50 per month for a gym membership will help you keep your positive life together and will be much better for you than any of the unhealthy things you may spend that money-on.

Keeping a Positive Mindset During Tough Financial Times

Your mindset is your best defense and weapon during tough times. You should power-through the bad days and setbacks. You should spend the tough times making plans on what to do now and when the times turn better again. Make this time productive, instead of wallowing in your sorrows.

The “Boxing Metaphor” for Dealing With Tough Times

One of the best pieces of advice given to someone who is getting beat-up by tough times is to use the “Boxing Metaphor.” Boxing coaches will tell you that during a fight — when you are getting punched and your opponent has the advantage — that you should cover-up, and defend yourself. This is NOT the time to punch-back or make your attack… you simply cover yourself and make sure the punches don’t seriously injure you.

The advantage of this move is that your opponent gets tired from punching. Once, your opponent is tired or makes a mistake, then you make your move and fight back. It is a simple move, but you have to fight your natural urge to fight-back while you are being punched or attacked, and wait and plan during the tough time.

First Steps in Dealing with Anxiety About Money and Finances

The very first steps you need to take are:

1. Breathe and try and calm down — mistakes are made when you are chaotic and unfocused. Good decisions are made when you think something over (again and again) until you know you have looked at all sides and are making the right choice.
2. Keep your mental health and mood concerns managed — if you struggle with depression, mental health concerns, or have substance use disorders it is important to understand that these will likely also worsen when you are stressed about something — especially a great concern like money and financial stability. Those that get overcome by financial stress and mental health concerns are more likely to end up in a dire situation like homelessness.
3. Get motivated — to start making the changes that will get you into a better situation. Let your goals and plans for the future EXCITE you! Wake up every day in a positive mood — because these bad times won’t last and you are actively on your way to a better place.

If you can’t calm down, can’t find the motivation, or if your mental health issues are making it all too overwhelming, then you need the help of a therapist to get you into the right mindset to get yourself into a better place.

What If I Can’t Afford A Therapist?

It can feel like you are stuck in a corner if you need therapy to get into a better mindset, but cannot afford therapy just yet. What do you do in this situation? READ! Reading is mostly free – especially with the internet. There are GREAT motivational therapy articles (like this one) that act as your therapist until a live therapist becomes more affordable.

The more your mind understands what it is feeling — and you too understand what the problems are and how they can be fixed — your mind can actually start to fix its own problems. This is what happens happens when you see a therapist: your mind fixes its problems as the problem becomes clear — the therapist just guides your mind to where it needs to go. So reading about therapy and employing the practices yourself can work just as well as seeing a therapist.

How Do I Find a Therapist For Financial Anxiety and Stress

Therapists that focus on “life changes” are great at dealing with financial stress, but really any therapist can help, as they have a deep understanding about anxiety, the brain, and the body.

Tax Advisors Can Be Great Therapists

Again, anxiety is a fear of something that has not happened and may never happen… it is the fear of the unknown and fear of figments of your imagination. So, it is important to not let your imagination run-away with itself. Contact a tax advisor and start asking questions about your situation.

Most people only contact their tax advisors or accountants right before tax season; but you should be planning the coming year with your tax advisor ahead. Does it look like this year will be a big loss for you? Figure out your tax burden now so it is not a surprise next year, and your advisor may also be able to give you ideas on how to make the year more affordable.

Therapy For Financial Stress in Arizona

The Arizona Relationship Institute wants to help you and your family deal with the stress of tough financial times. We offer teletherapy, group therapy, and several levels of therapists that can help make therapy more affordable.

July 30, 2024August 1, 2024

How Therapists Provide Relationship Help For Men

Dating, forming relationships, maintaining relationships, and growing relationships has never been easy for men and women throughout history, but in 2024 it has become much more complex. At its core, love and relationships remain the same as they were 2500+ years ago, but our lives have become more complex and those complexities affect our emotions and relationships more than we realize.

How Men’s Relationship Therapy Can Help With Dating

Dating and trying to find the perfect soulmate that matches you takes time and patience. Those who are not naturally patient people can find themselves getting impatient during the dating process. Impatience and frustration only worsen your mood and overall mental health, and will not help in the dating process… so it is very helpful to have the help of a therapist to release your mental frustrations and keep your cool.

Dating Post-Covid

Dating in 2024 is very difficult for both men and women, but men certainly have unique dating challenges that they are facing in modern times. Peoples’ mentalities are still shifted even 4 years after COVID lockdowns. There are a lot of men and women who are still avoiding public gatherings, keeping their shopping and public activities to a minimum, and strangers keep to themselves more than before. This all makes meeting new people and starting new relationships difficult.

Online Dating Post-Covid

Even online dating has suffered in post-covid times, with users of online dating sites and apps complaining of the quality the experiences. Dating apps have gotten worse recently, lament many users. Many frustrated dating apps users now lament that many of the men and women they match-with seem to be fake, bots, spam, scams, or just a little bit creepy.

“Even if you match with someone who IS real,” say users, “getting a conversation going or getting someone to respond is so difficult.” Men and women are both less trusting right now in strangers, so the entire model of dating apps seems to be suffering due to this, with users hesitant to engage in conversations.

How Hookup Apps, Webcams, and Increased Sexual Promiscuity Have Changed Dating For Men

More women and men are now having casual sex, hookups, and flings than 30 years ago, and technology is a big reason why. Hookup apps make it very easy to have quick, easy, meaningless casual sex — if that is what you are looking for. While this freedom may sound great at first, for both men and women, it can actually hurt us.

Many do not want to seek meaningful relationships now, because it is so easy to simply hook-up and have casual sex and move on. This causes a butterfly effect across society that completely throws-off the natural process of sexual attraction, coupling, mating, bonding, forming relationships, and finding unconditional and life-long love.

Webcams and “virtual sex” have also cheapened the experience of sex for many, and have fueled an unhealthy rise in sex addiction and pornography addiction. Many men and women have found it hard to connect in meaningful relationships after pushing their own sexualities to the limits.

Our own sexual over-promiscuity is to blame… Instead of looking at sex as getting a “quick fix” — we instead need to “play the game” and do the dance between 2 individuals. We need the flirting and the sexual tension to build. We need the awkward “getting to know you phases,” and we need the embarrassing moments too.

Getting Over Being Hurt In Dating

We are our own worst enemies sometimes — especially when it comes to our minds. We can be over-critical of ourselves with sex, and our own sexual prowess. Self esteem issues can carry-over into our sex lives or even prevent us from from being able to connect and have intimate, sexual relationships. PTSD and sexual trauma also can effect our dating lives, unless we learn to control our fears and anxieties. Relationships Therapists do just this.

If you feel that you are the one that is getting in the way in your relationships, it is important for you to get over the issues so that nature can take its course and you can connect and build new relationships — intimate or platonic. Therapists help with this.

Dating Advice For Men

Men — regardless of sexual orientation or sexual identity — all men need dating advice and help. There are some things that men are naturally good at, but seeing our faults, working on them, connecting with others emotionally, and building strong emotional relationships are not our strongest of natural talents. As men, we don’t really change ourselves unless we are given an example to follow, or told to change.

A therapist gives the example and opens men’s eyes to how others think-of and see you — both on the outside and emotionally. This eye-opening experience helps us to see ourselves from the outside as well, and we are given the motivation to “transmutate” ourselves into the better person we want to be.

Men Generally Need Therapy From Time to Time

Men can benefit from therapy not just for relationship advice, but in general to help organize their thoughts and emotions. Especially in times of great stress, or when we get caught-up in hectic and busy schedules.

Talk therapy simply gets everything “off your chest” and out of your mind. Simply telling another person the story of your troubles help you to “Debrief” yourself and bring closure to the stressors of your life. We need this from time to time or else we will explode under the pressure of it all building-up. We can’t be good at anything under that pressure – and our relationships also suffer when we suffer.

Arizona’s Top Relationship Therapists

The Arizona Relationship Institute (AZRI) has the top therapists specializing in the bonds and connections that form relationships. Our men’s therapists are from diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and practices, and offer a number of specialized focuses.

July 15, 2024July 2, 2024

What Parents Should Know About Sexuality and Gender Exploration in Their Kids

Throughout the centuries, parents and their children have disagreed on things. No matter the era or societal structure, parents have struggled to understand their children and children have struggled to understand their parents. The gap between parents and their children is 100% natural, even though it leaves both frustrated with each other.

Every generation of parents has its “big parenting scare,” and it usually has to do with sex, sexuality, morality, and the struggle between two generations to understand them. In the 1960s “free love” and sexual exploration was a scary topic for parents just as it is today. Even though parents in 2024 are generally more sexually open than most parents in the 1960s, we see the same problem arising.

Gender Fluidity Throughout History

Sexual and gender fluidity is nothing new — for centuries men have been attracted to men and women to women and all combinations thereof. “Gender identity” is a relatively new word, but the ideas behind the word have circulated for years. There is also nothing wrong or unnatural about this fluidity, and the concepts of LGBTQ+ occur naturally in humans and other species of animals on Earth. Those who identify as LGBTQ+, have a fluid sexual or gender identity, or have a different sexual orientation are no better or worse than the other portion of the world that does not identify in this matter.

It is good to understand all of this above before we diver deeper into the discussion about parenting and LGBTQ+ issues. This will help bring an open understanding just as LGBTQ+ Family Therapy Sessions with your therapist will.

Understanding LGBTQ+ Children

Teens and young adults — as their sexuality develops — begin to explore and question their sexuality, among other emotions. This exploration is natural and helps us to develop a healthy understanding of sex and how we experience sexuality. We fumble and make mistakes as we learn about sex — just as with learning anything else — and our experiences shape our understanding.

One cannot fully understand sex without experimenting with sex, and speculations about sexuality cause anxiety and other negativities in both biological males and females. Everyone must be given the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and perfect their understanding of sex and their sexual identity.

Do Parents Have Anything To Fear From LGBTQ+ and Sexual Identity Questions in Their Children?

No, this is to be expected in children as they develop their sexuality. They have no idea what is right or wrong or immoral, the are only trying to rationalize their sexual thoughts and feelings. That fear that parents feel is 100% in the parent’s head — and that is where the problem needs to be addressed.

Are There Any Behaviors Associated With Sexual Identity Exploration That Parents SHOULD Be Considered About?

Of course. Risky behaviors, especially risky sexual behavior, should be a concern of every parent. Sexual predators are common in all social circles, including SOME religious circles and SOME LBGTQ+ social circles — Sexual predators prey in all corners of society. However, don’t pre-judge any social circle, nor assume that all LGBTQ+ ideas are good or bad, they are just ideas — PEOPLE do good and bad things.

Should I worry if My Son Identifies As A Woman, Or My Daughter Identifies As A Man?

No. Parents have lots of rightful concerns, but developing your child’s personal identity is not your responsibility, it is your child’s. A parent’s direction can help mold the child’s opinions, perspectives, and identity, but those are wholly the child’s responsibilities and concerns.

Remember, Identities Change and Evolve Constantly

Parents are often terrified that the person their child is at 16-19 is going to be the person they are for the rest of their lives. This is false for all aspects of their character, including their own gender and sexual identities. While your adolescent telling you that they are now the opposite sex can be shocking for a parent to hear, its actually pretty typical of a teen or adolescent.

Teens and adolescents love shock value, especially shocking their parents, and they tend to gravitate towards ideas and behaviors that are opposite of those of their parents. Remember that they ARE young still, and their likes, dislikes, and personalities have changed, are changing, and will change again.

Christian Family Therapy for LGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Exploration

Christian and devoutly religious families facing challenges with LGBTQ+ issues and sexual identity questions can truly benefit from family talk therapy. Healthy and open conversation in a safe therapy environment can help all families members to discuss questions and issues that are uncomfortable or difficult. In this safe and comfortable environment, real progress can be made in the entire family.

Even the most devout and pious people are faced with thoughts, feelings and emotions that they do not understand; this includes sexual urges, sexual thoughts, and struggles between the thoughts and their sense of morality. Only through experience can we truly know what is right and wrong; our parents teach us the fundamentals of right and wrong, but we don’t truly understand why things are marked as right or wrong until we fully understand those things, and we can’t fully understand them unless we experience them.

Christian values teach us how to love and be a good person to others, and give a basic framework for living a happy life that Christ and God would approve of. There is not much mention about sex in the scriptures (Bible). Societal values have more to say about sex than traditional Christian teachings do; it is people and society that makes up rules about the “morality” of sexual thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Those societal values may have been built around a Christian foundation, but never forget that all constructs about sexuality are purely made by people and society — not ordained by a higher power.

The 10 Commandments and 7 Deadly Sins don’t say anything about condemning people for their own sexual explorations. People condemning or persecuting others for their own sexual thoughts, feelings, urges, or preferences is not okay; it is not “right,” nor is it in-line with the true Christian values we are taught to follow.

Advice For Christian Parents Struggling with a Understanding a Child’s LGBTQ+ and Sexual Identity Exploration

Our children’s life choices are their own, and not ours as parents; even though it is not our place, we feel the need to comment on their choices and try and steer our children in the direction WE want them to go. The feelings are 100% natural, and never really go away; but when a child gets to their developmental ages of teens, adolescence and young adulthood, we need to learn to let-go and let them live their own lives.

- Family Therapy for LLGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Exploration IS NOT Conversion Therapy. It is not meant to fundamentally change or influence anyone’s life choices either way. It is to ensure the family all remains in-tact, loving, and happy in the face of even the toughest conversations.
- Therapists have a goal to help their patients find the truth within themselves, not to plant false truths or lead the patient to a conclusion that is fundamentally wrong or will harm them long-term.
- Family Therapists have a goal of helping all members of the family find their own truths and learn acceptance of others finding their own truths. We don’t always understand each other’s quirks, likes, dislikes, characteristics, habits, behaviors, and preferences; but we do accept them.
- Keeping the family together as a happy, whole, healthy unit is of the utmost importance and supersedes all smaller problems. Therapists offer an outside perspective and structured setting for the family conversations to take place.

Starting Family Therapy in Arizona for LGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Concerns

At The Arizona Relationship Institute in Mesa, AZ our therapists are very helpful in both areas of family therapy and healthy conversations about sexuality. Our therapists are experts and are not afraid to have the difficult family conversations that either make or break family relationships.

July 4, 2024June 30, 2024

Therapy for Teens and Adolescents: Common Teen Problems

Anyone and everyone can benefit from therapeutic sessions with a therapist, from teens and 20’s to those in Hospice and End Of Life Care. Therapists help us to sort through the thoughts and emotions that come with the different phases of life. Therapy helps us to adapt through the changes and challenges of life, and helps us to understand ourselves as we too change and transform.

Why Teens And Young Adults Need Therapy More Than Adults

We need therapy during the times of change, and children, teens and young adults go through the most life changes than adults — all of which can be intimidating or downright scary. Teens and young adults know that every move they make is under scrutiny by parents, teachers, relatives, friends, and society as a whole. They know that every decision they make is going to affect them for the next 5-10-50- or even 80 years!!! There is a lot of weight on the shoulders of teens and young adults.

Parents DO NOT Do a Good Job Addressing Their Children’s Thoughts, Worries, and Mental Health Needs

Parents want to do a good job at all things regarding their children’s care, but are not perfect, and may fail to do so sometimes. That is just reality. Sometimes doctors, dentists, behavioral specialists, or other professionals need to help provide the best care for a child that is possible. This goes for mental health therapists as well. It is important for teens and young adults to see a therapist for talk therapy if they want it or show signs of needing it.

Teens Are Not Good At Listening To Their Parents

Equally, teens are not good at listening or taking advice from their parents. Further, many teens naturally place blame on their parents for life’s problems; which not only worsens problems for the teen, but hampers communication with the parents. Without the help of a therapist, parents will find themselves in an uphill battle when trying to simply help their teen with their struggles.

Therapy for teens is perfectly healthy, even though some parents may feel a stigma or that their children seeing a counselor or therapist is a sign of something they did wrong. Therapy is nothing to feel shameful-about. Denying the care of a therapist to your children else because of YOUR feelings about can further the problems your teen is experiencing.

Parents are not experts. Children, teens and young adults ask questions that are simply beyond the ability of most parents to answer. Teens and young adults want answers on the questions they have about their changing bodies and brains, and therapists are usually much more equipped to answer these questions than the average parent.

Therapy for Life Changes in Teens and Young Adults

Teens experience a lot of life changes that feel and seem weird to them. Their bodies and brains are changing, and there are new emotions that are developing each day and with each experience the day brings. Questions abound and they need answers that a therapist can help to answer.

Therapy for Teens Going Through Puberty

Puberty is a very intense life change that can start anywhere from age 8 (in the youngest cases) to 21 years (in Delayed Puberty). Teens going through this life change go through changes in body-chemistry and start producing different hormones and chemicals — all of which play a role in thoughts, brain development, emotions, and emotional development.

Why should a teen going through puberty speak to a therapist? Once a teen is comfortable with their therapist and opens-up about their feelings, thoughts and experiences, there are a million reasons that will come pouring out of a teens mind. Issues from bullying to love and lust, from school to friends, the lives of teens are complex and offer numerous opportunities for outside help — help from family, friends, parents, relatives and even therapists.

Therapy For Teens with Delayed Puberty

Children, teens, and young adults can be quite cruel to those who are different than the other majority. Delayed puberty, unfortunately, offers many opportunities for others to be cruel. As other teens start their change of life, they may begin bullying those that don’t develop as fast. Biological females with delayed puberty may get bullied for their looks just as biological males that are “late bloomers.”

Bullying and cruelty about a person’s physical appearance can leave a lasting impression, cause lifelong trauma, or otherwise harm teens. Giving a teen an outlet for negative emotions during the trying times of “not going through puberty when your friends are” can prevent a lot of damage or harm.

Therapy For Teens With Learning Challenges

Teens that are facing learning challenges are at a pivotal point in their teenage years — they are preparing to make decisions that will affect their future educations and livelihoods. At this time, unaddressed learning challenges — even simple ones — can derail the futures of promising young adults.

Many teens get frustrated in their teenage high school years because of all of the challenges that are building-up. The term “dropping out” is synonymous with not finishing high school, but is a good term to use for the way teens feel with unaddressed feelings, thoughts, emotions, or worries . The pressure of it all makes them want to just “Quit.”

In many cases, a teen with learning challenges can be saved and keep themselves “on-track” in their teenage years by giving them an outlet through therapy. Therapy can help a teenager sort-out their emotions and worries, and put everything into a manageable view. Therapists tackle the individual points of stress: schoolwork, concentration problems, social worries, and other stressors; by then addressing each individually, the frustration with the multiple problems can dissolve away.

Therapy For Teens With ADHD

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are both contentious diagnoses, as attention disorders seem to fall along a much broader spectrum (similar to autism spectrum disorders). A teen may have an attention deficit that is almost unnoticeable in comparison to severe cases. Because the spectrum is so broad, broad treatments like a single medication type for all cases is unwise — if you care for the long-term wellbeing of teens. Instead, pinpointed therapy sessions aimed to improve concentration and cognitive skills can better-treat the unique needs of patients.

Therapy For Teens With Questions About Sex and Sexuality

If there is one problem that gets tougher for teens as time goes on, it is the problem of questions about sex. Teens and young adults in 2024 have a lot more questions about sex and sexuality than teens just 50 years ago, because our understanding of sex and sexuality as a society and culture has changed. Questions from teens about sex and sexuality are best handled by parents and a therapist in-conjunction; parents who are open to having talks about sex with their teens are encourages to do so while leaning-on the expertise of a therapist.

Parents Who Are Not Comfortable with Talking About Sex With Their Teens

If you — as a parent — are not comfortable with talking about sex to your kids, or don’t feel that you are best suited for the conversations, we encourage you to encourage your teens to speak with a therapist about their questions. A therapist can help them to understand the safety needs around sex as well, educating them about pregnancy, STIs and STDs, and sexual boundaries.

Starting Teen Therapy and Family Counseling with a Free Consultation

Families and parents of teens are encouraged to start a free 15 minute phone consultation to see how therapy can help you, your teens, children and family. This is the best way to start your search for a therapist that matches your needs, as well as your insurance and payment questions.