The Arizona Relationship Institute, Author at Arizona Relationship Institute

July 30, 2024August 1, 2024

How Therapists Provide Relationship Help For Men

Dating, forming relationships, maintaining relationships, and growing relationships has never been easy for men and women throughout history, but in 2024 it has become much more complex. At its core, love and relationships remain the same as they were 2500+ years ago, but our lives have become more complex and those complexities affect our emotions and relationships more than we realize.

How Men’s Relationship Therapy Can Help With Dating

Dating and trying to find the perfect soulmate that matches you takes time and patience. Those who are not naturally patient people can find themselves getting impatient during the dating process. Impatience and frustration only worsen your mood and overall mental health, and will not help in the dating process… so it is very helpful to have the help of a therapist to release your mental frustrations and keep your cool.

Dating Post-Covid

Dating in 2024 is very difficult for both men and women, but men certainly have unique dating challenges that they are facing in modern times. Peoples’ mentalities are still shifted even 4 years after COVID lockdowns. There are a lot of men and women who are still avoiding public gatherings, keeping their shopping and public activities to a minimum, and strangers keep to themselves more than before. This all makes meeting new people and starting new relationships difficult.

Online Dating Post-Covid

Even online dating has suffered in post-covid times, with users of online dating sites and apps complaining of the quality the experiences. Dating apps have gotten worse recently, lament many users. Many frustrated dating apps users now lament that many of the men and women they match-with seem to be fake, bots, spam, scams, or just a little bit creepy.

“Even if you match with someone who IS real,” say users, “getting a conversation going or getting someone to respond is so difficult.” Men and women are both less trusting right now in strangers, so the entire model of dating apps seems to be suffering due to this, with users hesitant to engage in conversations.

How Hookup Apps, Webcams, and Increased Sexual Promiscuity Have Changed Dating For Men

More women and men are now having casual sex, hookups, and flings than 30 years ago, and technology is a big reason why. Hookup apps make it very easy to have quick, easy, meaningless casual sex — if that is what you are looking for. While this freedom may sound great at first, for both men and women, it can actually hurt us.

Many do not want to seek meaningful relationships now, because it is so easy to simply hook-up and have casual sex and move on. This causes a butterfly effect across society that completely throws-off the natural process of sexual attraction, coupling, mating, bonding, forming relationships, and finding unconditional and life-long love.

Webcams and “virtual sex” have also cheapened the experience of sex for many, and have fueled an unhealthy rise in sex addiction and pornography addiction. Many men and women have found it hard to connect in meaningful relationships after pushing their own sexualities to the limits.

Our own sexual over-promiscuity is to blame… Instead of looking at sex as getting a “quick fix” — we instead need to “play the game” and do the dance between 2 individuals. We need the flirting and the sexual tension to build. We need the awkward “getting to know you phases,” and we need the embarrassing moments too.

Getting Over Being Hurt In Dating

We are our own worst enemies sometimes — especially when it comes to our minds. We can be over-critical of ourselves with sex, and our own sexual prowess. Self esteem issues can carry-over into our sex lives or even prevent us from from being able to connect and have intimate, sexual relationships. PTSD and sexual trauma also can effect our dating lives, unless we learn to control our fears and anxieties. Relationships Therapists do just this.

If you feel that you are the one that is getting in the way in your relationships, it is important for you to get over the issues so that nature can take its course and you can connect and build new relationships — intimate or platonic. Therapists help with this.

Dating Advice For Men

Men — regardless of sexual orientation or sexual identity — all men need dating advice and help. There are some things that men are naturally good at, but seeing our faults, working on them, connecting with others emotionally, and building strong emotional relationships are not our strongest of natural talents. As men, we don’t really change ourselves unless we are given an example to follow, or told to change.

A therapist gives the example and opens men’s eyes to how others think-of and see you — both on the outside and emotionally. This eye-opening experience helps us to see ourselves from the outside as well, and we are given the motivation to “transmutate” ourselves into the better person we want to be.

Men Generally Need Therapy From Time to Time

Men can benefit from therapy not just for relationship advice, but in general to help organize their thoughts and emotions. Especially in times of great stress, or when we get caught-up in hectic and busy schedules.

Talk therapy simply gets everything “off your chest” and out of your mind. Simply telling another person the story of your troubles help you to “Debrief” yourself and bring closure to the stressors of your life. We need this from time to time or else we will explode under the pressure of it all building-up. We can’t be good at anything under that pressure – and our relationships also suffer when we suffer.

Arizona’s Top Relationship Therapists

The Arizona Relationship Institute (AZRI) has the top therapists specializing in the bonds and connections that form relationships. Our men’s therapists are from diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and practices, and offer a number of specialized focuses.

July 15, 2024July 2, 2024

What Parents Should Know About Sexuality and Gender Exploration in Their Kids

Throughout the centuries, parents and their children have disagreed on things. No matter the era or societal structure, parents have struggled to understand their children and children have struggled to understand their parents. The gap between parents and their children is 100% natural, even though it leaves both frustrated with each other.

Every generation of parents has its “big parenting scare,” and it usually has to do with sex, sexuality, morality, and the struggle between two generations to understand them. In the 1960s “free love” and sexual exploration was a scary topic for parents just as it is today. Even though parents in 2024 are generally more sexually open than most parents in the 1960s, we see the same problem arising.

Gender Fluidity Throughout History

Sexual and gender fluidity is nothing new — for centuries men have been attracted to men and women to women and all combinations thereof. “Gender identity” is a relatively new word, but the ideas behind the word have circulated for years. There is also nothing wrong or unnatural about this fluidity, and the concepts of LGBTQ+ occur naturally in humans and other species of animals on Earth. Those who identify as LGBTQ+, have a fluid sexual or gender identity, or have a different sexual orientation are no better or worse than the other portion of the world that does not identify in this matter.

It is good to understand all of this above before we diver deeper into the discussion about parenting and LGBTQ+ issues. This will help bring an open understanding just as LGBTQ+ Family Therapy Sessions with your therapist will.

Understanding LGBTQ+ Children

Teens and young adults — as their sexuality develops — begin to explore and question their sexuality, among other emotions. This exploration is natural and helps us to develop a healthy understanding of sex and how we experience sexuality. We fumble and make mistakes as we learn about sex — just as with learning anything else — and our experiences shape our understanding.

One cannot fully understand sex without experimenting with sex, and speculations about sexuality cause anxiety and other negativities in both biological males and females. Everyone must be given the freedom to explore, make mistakes, learn, and perfect their understanding of sex and their sexual identity.

Do Parents Have Anything To Fear From LGBTQ+ and Sexual Identity Questions in Their Children?

No, this is to be expected in children as they develop their sexuality. They have no idea what is right or wrong or immoral, the are only trying to rationalize their sexual thoughts and feelings. That fear that parents feel is 100% in the parent’s head — and that is where the problem needs to be addressed.

Are There Any Behaviors Associated With Sexual Identity Exploration That Parents SHOULD Be Considered About?

Of course. Risky behaviors, especially risky sexual behavior, should be a concern of every parent. Sexual predators are common in all social circles, including SOME religious circles and SOME LBGTQ+ social circles — Sexual predators prey in all corners of society. However, don’t pre-judge any social circle, nor assume that all LGBTQ+ ideas are good or bad, they are just ideas — PEOPLE do good and bad things.

Should I worry if My Son Identifies As A Woman, Or My Daughter Identifies As A Man?

No. Parents have lots of rightful concerns, but developing your child’s personal identity is not your responsibility, it is your child’s. A parent’s direction can help mold the child’s opinions, perspectives, and identity, but those are wholly the child’s responsibilities and concerns.

Remember, Identities Change and Evolve Constantly

Parents are often terrified that the person their child is at 16-19 is going to be the person they are for the rest of their lives. This is false for all aspects of their character, including their own gender and sexual identities. While your adolescent telling you that they are now the opposite sex can be shocking for a parent to hear, its actually pretty typical of a teen or adolescent.

Teens and adolescents love shock value, especially shocking their parents, and they tend to gravitate towards ideas and behaviors that are opposite of those of their parents. Remember that they ARE young still, and their likes, dislikes, and personalities have changed, are changing, and will change again.

Christian Family Therapy for LGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Exploration

Christian and devoutly religious families facing challenges with LGBTQ+ issues and sexual identity questions can truly benefit from family talk therapy. Healthy and open conversation in a safe therapy environment can help all families members to discuss questions and issues that are uncomfortable or difficult. In this safe and comfortable environment, real progress can be made in the entire family.

Even the most devout and pious people are faced with thoughts, feelings and emotions that they do not understand; this includes sexual urges, sexual thoughts, and struggles between the thoughts and their sense of morality. Only through experience can we truly know what is right and wrong; our parents teach us the fundamentals of right and wrong, but we don’t truly understand why things are marked as right or wrong until we fully understand those things, and we can’t fully understand them unless we experience them.

Christian values teach us how to love and be a good person to others, and give a basic framework for living a happy life that Christ and God would approve of. There is not much mention about sex in the scriptures (Bible). Societal values have more to say about sex than traditional Christian teachings do; it is people and society that makes up rules about the “morality” of sexual thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Those societal values may have been built around a Christian foundation, but never forget that all constructs about sexuality are purely made by people and society — not ordained by a higher power.

The 10 Commandments and 7 Deadly Sins don’t say anything about condemning people for their own sexual explorations. People condemning or persecuting others for their own sexual thoughts, feelings, urges, or preferences is not okay; it is not “right,” nor is it in-line with the true Christian values we are taught to follow.

Advice For Christian Parents Struggling with a Understanding a Child’s LGBTQ+ and Sexual Identity Exploration

Our children’s life choices are their own, and not ours as parents; even though it is not our place, we feel the need to comment on their choices and try and steer our children in the direction WE want them to go. The feelings are 100% natural, and never really go away; but when a child gets to their developmental ages of teens, adolescence and young adulthood, we need to learn to let-go and let them live their own lives.

- Family Therapy for LLGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Exploration IS NOT Conversion Therapy. It is not meant to fundamentally change or influence anyone’s life choices either way. It is to ensure the family all remains in-tact, loving, and happy in the face of even the toughest conversations.
- Therapists have a goal to help their patients find the truth within themselves, not to plant false truths or lead the patient to a conclusion that is fundamentally wrong or will harm them long-term.
- Family Therapists have a goal of helping all members of the family find their own truths and learn acceptance of others finding their own truths. We don’t always understand each other’s quirks, likes, dislikes, characteristics, habits, behaviors, and preferences; but we do accept them.
- Keeping the family together as a happy, whole, healthy unit is of the utmost importance and supersedes all smaller problems. Therapists offer an outside perspective and structured setting for the family conversations to take place.

Starting Family Therapy in Arizona for LGBTQ+ and Gender Identity Concerns

At The Arizona Relationship Institute in Mesa, AZ our therapists are very helpful in both areas of family therapy and healthy conversations about sexuality. Our therapists are experts and are not afraid to have the difficult family conversations that either make or break family relationships.

July 4, 2024June 30, 2024

Therapy for Teens and Adolescents: Common Teen Problems

Anyone and everyone can benefit from therapeutic sessions with a therapist, from teens and 20’s to those in Hospice and End Of Life Care. Therapists help us to sort through the thoughts and emotions that come with the different phases of life. Therapy helps us to adapt through the changes and challenges of life, and helps us to understand ourselves as we too change and transform.

Why Teens And Young Adults Need Therapy More Than Adults

We need therapy during the times of change, and children, teens and young adults go through the most life changes than adults — all of which can be intimidating or downright scary. Teens and young adults know that every move they make is under scrutiny by parents, teachers, relatives, friends, and society as a whole. They know that every decision they make is going to affect them for the next 5-10-50- or even 80 years!!! There is a lot of weight on the shoulders of teens and young adults.

Parents DO NOT Do a Good Job Addressing Their Children’s Thoughts, Worries, and Mental Health Needs

Parents want to do a good job at all things regarding their children’s care, but are not perfect, and may fail to do so sometimes. That is just reality. Sometimes doctors, dentists, behavioral specialists, or other professionals need to help provide the best care for a child that is possible. This goes for mental health therapists as well. It is important for teens and young adults to see a therapist for talk therapy if they want it or show signs of needing it.

Teens Are Not Good At Listening To Their Parents

Equally, teens are not good at listening or taking advice from their parents. Further, many teens naturally place blame on their parents for life’s problems; which not only worsens problems for the teen, but hampers communication with the parents. Without the help of a therapist, parents will find themselves in an uphill battle when trying to simply help their teen with their struggles.

Therapy for teens is perfectly healthy, even though some parents may feel a stigma or that their children seeing a counselor or therapist is a sign of something they did wrong. Therapy is nothing to feel shameful-about. Denying the care of a therapist to your children else because of YOUR feelings about can further the problems your teen is experiencing.

Parents are not experts. Children, teens and young adults ask questions that are simply beyond the ability of most parents to answer. Teens and young adults want answers on the questions they have about their changing bodies and brains, and therapists are usually much more equipped to answer these questions than the average parent.

Therapy for Life Changes in Teens and Young Adults

Teens experience a lot of life changes that feel and seem weird to them. Their bodies and brains are changing, and there are new emotions that are developing each day and with each experience the day brings. Questions abound and they need answers that a therapist can help to answer.

Therapy for Teens Going Through Puberty

Puberty is a very intense life change that can start anywhere from age 8 (in the youngest cases) to 21 years (in Delayed Puberty). Teens going through this life change go through changes in body-chemistry and start producing different hormones and chemicals — all of which play a role in thoughts, brain development, emotions, and emotional development.

Why should a teen going through puberty speak to a therapist? Once a teen is comfortable with their therapist and opens-up about their feelings, thoughts and experiences, there are a million reasons that will come pouring out of a teens mind. Issues from bullying to love and lust, from school to friends, the lives of teens are complex and offer numerous opportunities for outside help — help from family, friends, parents, relatives and even therapists.

Therapy For Teens with Delayed Puberty

Children, teens, and young adults can be quite cruel to those who are different than the other majority. Delayed puberty, unfortunately, offers many opportunities for others to be cruel. As other teens start their change of life, they may begin bullying those that don’t develop as fast. Biological females with delayed puberty may get bullied for their looks just as biological males that are “late bloomers.”

Bullying and cruelty about a person’s physical appearance can leave a lasting impression, cause lifelong trauma, or otherwise harm teens. Giving a teen an outlet for negative emotions during the trying times of “not going through puberty when your friends are” can prevent a lot of damage or harm.

Therapy For Teens With Learning Challenges

Teens that are facing learning challenges are at a pivotal point in their teenage years — they are preparing to make decisions that will affect their future educations and livelihoods. At this time, unaddressed learning challenges — even simple ones — can derail the futures of promising young adults.

Many teens get frustrated in their teenage high school years because of all of the challenges that are building-up. The term “dropping out” is synonymous with not finishing high school, but is a good term to use for the way teens feel with unaddressed feelings, thoughts, emotions, or worries . The pressure of it all makes them want to just “Quit.”

In many cases, a teen with learning challenges can be saved and keep themselves “on-track” in their teenage years by giving them an outlet through therapy. Therapy can help a teenager sort-out their emotions and worries, and put everything into a manageable view. Therapists tackle the individual points of stress: schoolwork, concentration problems, social worries, and other stressors; by then addressing each individually, the frustration with the multiple problems can dissolve away.

Therapy For Teens With ADHD

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are both contentious diagnoses, as attention disorders seem to fall along a much broader spectrum (similar to autism spectrum disorders). A teen may have an attention deficit that is almost unnoticeable in comparison to severe cases. Because the spectrum is so broad, broad treatments like a single medication type for all cases is unwise — if you care for the long-term wellbeing of teens. Instead, pinpointed therapy sessions aimed to improve concentration and cognitive skills can better-treat the unique needs of patients.

Therapy For Teens With Questions About Sex and Sexuality

If there is one problem that gets tougher for teens as time goes on, it is the problem of questions about sex. Teens and young adults in 2024 have a lot more questions about sex and sexuality than teens just 50 years ago, because our understanding of sex and sexuality as a society and culture has changed. Questions from teens about sex and sexuality are best handled by parents and a therapist in-conjunction; parents who are open to having talks about sex with their teens are encourages to do so while leaning-on the expertise of a therapist.

Parents Who Are Not Comfortable with Talking About Sex With Their Teens

If you — as a parent — are not comfortable with talking about sex to your kids, or don’t feel that you are best suited for the conversations, we encourage you to encourage your teens to speak with a therapist about their questions. A therapist can help them to understand the safety needs around sex as well, educating them about pregnancy, STIs and STDs, and sexual boundaries.

Starting Teen Therapy and Family Counseling with a Free Consultation

Families and parents of teens are encouraged to start a free 15 minute phone consultation to see how therapy can help you, your teens, children and family. This is the best way to start your search for a therapist that matches your needs, as well as your insurance and payment questions.

June 28, 2024July 1, 2024

Therapy To Learn How To Be A Better Person

Everyone is constantly striving towards their own life goals, and trying to keep balance in their lives while doing-so. Everything you do in life should be involved with “bettering yourself.” Sometimes, we get off-track in life and our day-to-day goals become more of struggle to stay afloat and just survive. Therapy, is a way to keep your eyes on your life goals and keep bettering yourself, through the good times an the bad times.

Tips for Bettering Yourself and Becoming a Better Person

First thing that is needed to better yourself, is “the will” to be a better person. You have to want to be a better person and you have to be committed to being a better person. Without the true and motivational urge to better yourself, you will have a very hard time doing the “little things” that go into becoming a better person.

How to Find the Motivation to Better Yourself

Finding and holding-onto the urge and desire to better yourself is the most important and firs step in self-improvement. Just like starting a new exercise routine, this first step can be easier-said-than-done. Visualizing the person you want to become can help you to taking the first step. If you want to become more physically fit while bettering yourself, picture yourself as a strong, healthy, happy, future-you. Hold onto that image and remember that as you do the hard work along the way.

Starting a consultation with a therapist that specializes in self-improvement is a great way to get that first spark of motivation given to you — if you can’t find it yourself. Therapists are motivational life coaches that can help break through the barriers that are holding you back from finding your motivation.

Negative thoughts and emotions like shame, embarrassment, hopelessness, and traumatic memories can act like a brick wall that prevent you from getting better mentally and physically. Counselors and therapists are often needed to help break down those walls so that an individual can “Get moving” and find their motivation to change themselves for the better.

How To Think Better Thoughts

Many people have a hard time being a good person because they are constantly thinking negative thoughts. Lots of people naturally think negative thoughts about themselves or other people from time to time, but if these thoughts are persistent, obsessive, recurring, and are harming your overall quality of life, then these negative thoughts are a problem. This problem needs to be taken care of first to make room for positive thoughts throughout the day; positive thoughts about yourself, about others, and about life in general.

The first thing you need to do to get rid of persistent negative thoughts, feelings, and attitudes, is to recognize that they are bad and a problem. They don’t help you, and only hurt you. So why do you hold onto the negatives so tightly? Why is it so important for you to be critical of things instead of just being happy?

Example of Bettering Yourself With (CBT) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

The above observations are a part of (CBT) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: a form of therapy that uses a process to analyze your thoughts and make you ask yourself: Why?

Simply using CBT to train your brain to analyze your thoughts and behaviors can help you to keep the negatives out and focus on only positives. For instance, if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and are having a negative attitude first thing in the morning, you can either let those negatives grab ahold of you and the rest of the day will be negative; or, you can recognize first thing in the morning that there is a big negative that has latched onto you and wants to ruin the rest of your day, then deflect that negative — concentrating on a positive — and changing your attitude and outcome for the rest of the day.

Working with a CBT Therapist in Arizona can help you to perfect your CBT skills, and use this technique in more advanced ways: like stopping panic attacks, avoiding bad decisions, preventing outbursts of anger/rage, or even quit using addictive substances.

How To Get Over Negative Habits, Behaviors, and Actions

People with negative thoughts and behaviors are NOT bad people. A person is NOT inherently bad, or broken, or hopeless just because they have negative, dark, or bad thoughts and behaviors. This is important to recognize and understand. Treating negative behaviors and actions starts by treating the negative thoughts and emotions that are occurring in a person who is compelled towards bad actions.

CBT and other forms of psychotherapy helps a therapist and an individual suffering from negative thoughts and emotions find the source of these negatives. Together, the therapist and patient then work to remove the negative stimuli from daily life, controlling the triggers for negative thoughts like shame, regret, low self image, etc.

The biggest part of “getting over” the negative thoughts that attack you is to recognize that those thoughts are BAD in themselves — that is where the negative is getting into your life. You need to deflect those thoughts and not let them affect you. The more you deflect those negatives as soon as they start to attack you, the more you will build-up your natural defenses against them. Eventually the brain creates its own defense against negative thoughts — as it recognizes that they are bad and are hurting you.

Getting started on deflecting negative thoughts is always the hardest part — just like starting anything else; but, therapists can help with the “getting started” part until you learn enough self-therapy skills to keep yourself 100% mentally healthy on your own.

How to Stop Being Negative and Mean

There is a serious problem in modern society with many men and women that are simply negative and mean. We don’t mean “ornery,” or stubborn, or abrasive, but people that are “mean” as-in: vindictive, cruel, and selfish to the point of hurting others. This is not okay in any society, and should not be tolerated by others, but we find ourselves in this situation in many countries on Earth in 2024.

Being mean and negative all the time is a mental health issue that requires some mental health therapy in order to reverse. So-called “Karens” or a male or female that stir-up problems, abuse power, argue, or complain to the point that it is a feature of their character or personality. These are people that simply suffering from obsessive negative thoughts and emotions, have not dealt with these mental health issues, and are allowing their mental health issues to turn into negative behaviors and actions.

Once again, the trick to bettering yourself and to stop being negative and mean is to simply recognize the thoughts and emotions that are causing you to WANT to be mean and negative. WHY are you feeling like this? Is it because of some unresolved feelings you have? WHAT first brings on the negative feeling at the root of your urge to be mean or engage in a mean behavior? Many times, there are bad memories, traumatic experiences, and subsequent shameful feelings that are at the root of your negative thoughts, emotions, and the subconscious urge to be mean, start drama, or start arguments.

De-Coupling Positive Chemical Benefits from Negative Behaviors

Why does the brain get you in the habit of starting fights, being mean, being argumentative, and other negative behaviors? If the brain is so smart, why do brains “misfire” and keep some people in constant bad attitudes and thinking negative behaviors? The answer is self-medication.

It is true that the brain does not like negative thoughts and behaviors, and does initially recognize them as bad and as something that is hurting you. If you don’t deal with the negative thoughts and emotions yourself, your brain/body step-in to take-over and deal with the situation. Unfortunately, the decision your brain makes is not a good long-term solution. The brain self medicates you with feel-good chemicals to make you feel better, and may also put up some self defense mechanisms like: making false memories (changing the way you remember a situation to make it less traumatic to you), putting the blame on someone or something else, and telling you that YOU were right all along.

What comes from this terrible way the brain/body dealt with the situation? The person becomes physically addicted to the feel-good chemical release and self-medication. Many start to “self-destruct” at this point — looking for negatives, making bad decisions, wallowing in their own self-pity, and the problem usually gets worse from there. Why are some people constantly mean and negative? Because it actually is making them feel good now. At this point the problem needs to be addressed before the individual increases their bad behaviors into criminal, immoral, or dangerous acts.

Letting Go Of The Thoughts and Emotions That Control Your Life

Being a better person is as simple as putting more focus on the positives in your life, and letting go of the negatives. The negatives are often stronger than the positives though, so everyone can use some extra help and strength to keep the negatives from crowding-out the positivity in your life.

June 18, 2024

Therapy for Addictive Personalities and Compulsive Behaviors

Individuals who are sober and have graduated-from (or are currently enrolled-in) an addiction treatment program will need ongoing counseling and therapy for an extended period of time. Outpatient therapy for sober individuals in recovery helps to keep an individual sober, helps them to fight negative thoughts and behaviors, and prevents relapse.

Outpatient Therapy for Recovering From Substance Abuse

At AZRI, we DO NOT offer addiction treatment services, but rather offer ongoing therapy for those who are in-recovery, sober, looking to stay sober, and need help dealing with mental health or mood concerns. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns are the specialties of our individual therapists in Arizona.

At The Arizona Relationship Institute, we are not a rehab, nor do we offer any sort of addiction treatment. Rather, we happily refer friends, family and clients to Active Recovery Care for starting off your addiction treatment and detox needs.

The Need for Ongoing Therapy After Rehab and Addiction Treatment

After getting sober, most recovering addicts will require some form of therapy either on an ongoing basis, or from time-to-time. Therapy helps to treat a person’s response to the negative triggers in their life that pushed them towards drugs and alcohol in the past, and push the threat of relapse in the future. This is the type of behavioral therapy that our therapists at AZRI focus on.

Therapy for Depression After Quitting Drugs and Alcohol

Depression and anxiety are common side-effects when quitting alcohol and certain types of drugs. Withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, panic attacks, and depression can linger-on for months or even years. These symptoms will reduce and eventually go-away as long as a person remains sober. However, staying sober often requires a great deal of support from friends, family, and a therapist.

Therapy for depression and anxiety — alongside holistic practices like yoga, meditation, and a focus on other health hobbies — can lead you through the triggers and negativities that distract you from your commitment to sobriety.

Therapy for Addiction Substitution

Many recovering addicts suffer from “Addiction Substitution,” or trading one addiction for another. This type of individual may be off of drugs and alcohol, but the addictive behaviors live-on in a replacement addiction. Some recovering addicts may develop a food addiction or a shopping addiction in response to quitting drugs and alcohol.

A replacement addiction is a warning sign that the recovering addict is not getting the mental health counseling and therapeutic needs they require alongside their sobriety.

Therapy for Eating Disorders

The Arizona Relationship Institute therapists can help to treat the mental health symptoms related to eating disorders. Eating Disorder Therapists in Arizona can help you to deal with the thoughts, emotions and behaviors associated with eating disorders, while our partners at Active Recovery Care help with the nutritional and medical concerns.

Therapy for Mood Disorders

Many individuals recovering from substance use disorders were previously using drugs and/or alcohol to self-medicate the symptoms of mood disorders. Undiagnosed mood disorders are a common trigger for drug and alcohol use, and are even more common as triggers for relapse. Ensuring that these triggers do not cause relapse is the main concern of therapists for mood disorders and substance abuse issues.

What Are Compulsive Behaviors?

Compulsive Behaviors are simply actions or thoughts that occur repeatedly or consistently. Many compulsive behaviors can become problematic in everyday lives, and require therapy or other therapeutic practices to treat.

Examples of Compulsive Behaviors

- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Hoarding
- Sex Addiction
- Gambling Addiction
- Shopping Addiction
- Eating Addiction
- Eating Disorders
- Fear of Germs
- Repetitively Checking (things, people, places. etc.)
- Obsession with Numbers or Obsessive Counting
- Obsessive Cleaning
- Codependent Behaviors
- Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors
- Pulling or Cutting Hair Obsessively
- Substance Use Disorder
- Alcohol Use Disorder

A full list of the thoughts, actions and behaviors that are categorized as Compulsive Behaviors would be too long to compile, because the symptoms manifest in millions of different ways.

Tourette’s Syndrome is an acute and visible example of compulsive behaviors — as many sufferers will make body movements, vocal noises, or say words repetitively.

Therapy For Compulsive Behaviors in Arizona

The Arizona Relationship Institute offers therapy for compulsive behaviors in Arizona. From addictive behaviors and substance use disorders to obsessive thoughts, AZRI therapists treat the mental health symptoms of obsessive behaviors, and reduce the negative impact on sufferers’ lives.

What Treatments Are There For Compulsive Behaviors?

There is no official “cure” for compulsive behaviors, rather therapists help sufferers to ease the symptoms and negative effects of them. Therapy sessions and different forms of psychotherapy (including CBT, HRT, and others) help people to learn how to put the obsessive thoughts out-of-mind, so they can concentrate on their daily lives instead.

With the obsessive thoughts out-of-mind, a person learns to stop the compulsive behaviors and actions (like drinking, taking drugs, hoarding, gambling, shopping, etc.) or reduce their frequency significantly.

Habit Reversal Training (HRT) for Obsessive Behaviors

Habit Reversal Training (HRT) can help change even the most stubborn of bad habits and hard-to-break repetitive behaviors. It is a simple behavioral therapy that has shown miraculous results in reducing “tics” associated with Tourette’s Syndrome and can be used for other types of compulsive behaviors.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Obsessive Behaviors

Substance Use Disorders (SUDs), Alcohol Use Disorders (AUDs), and behavioral obsessions have been successfully treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT shows great results as a therapy for relapse prevention, as the therapy teaches you how to analyze why you do the things you do. From there, you can easily change your behaviors and cut-out the negative things to you do, once your brain makes the connection.

Do I Need To Be In Rehab To Receive Therapy for Addictive Behaviors from AZRI?

You do not need to be currently enrolled in rehab to receive therapy for addictive behaviors from The Arizona Relationship Institute (AZRI). However, you must be clean and sober from drugs and alcohol. If you are actively abusing drugs and/or alcohol, you are encouraged to seek Addiction Treatment first, and ongoing therapy sessions may take place in an outpatient setting at AZRI for approved clients.

We do not offer therapy for “Court-Ordered Therapy.”

How To Start Therapy For Addictive Behaviors

To begin, start with your free consultation from AZRI. Your free 15-minute phone consultation will help to answer your questions, will help us to understand your needs, and will help approved applicants move-on to the next steps.

June 15, 2024June 17, 2024

What To Consider When Scheduling Emergency Marriage Therapy

Arizona Marriage Counseling Therapists - AZRI - Arizona Relationship Institute Mesa Gilbert

When a marriage goes from bad to critical, many couples need Emergency Marriage Counseling & Therapy. Emergency therapy for married couples in times of a crisis can offer one or more benefits:

1. It gives couples a “pause” on the current fights/arguments/unhealthy behaviors. A timeout on the escalation of your emotions can keep fights from going “nuclear” (saying devastating things you can’t take back or making mistakes in the heat of the moment). This allows couples to save all that energy until later when a therapist can act as a “referee” and mediate the communication.
2. It gives couples a neutral setting where both individuals can outline: their issues with the relationship, their goals for their life and the relationship, and all the reasons to save/end the relationship.
3. For couples who are seriously considering a divorce, separation, or breakup, Emergency Marriage Counseling & Therapy can either help to save the relationship, or help all parties to come to terms with ending the relationship as amicably as possible.

Marriage counseling can be incredibly beneficial for you and your spouse at any phase of your marriage (from newlywed to closure therapy for ending a marriage), but there are a few things you should consider before scheduling your appointment for marriage counseling.

Tips For Successful Marriage Counseling Experience

Counseling and therapy can be a wonderful experience, or it can be a terrible experience — just like any other experience. In order to ensure that it is a positive experience, you must enter into therapy fully prepared for what it takes and what to expect to give. At AZRI, we strive to help all of our guest couples have a positive life experience through marriage counseling, and there are several tips that can help you to have an equally satisfactory time.

Finding the Right Marriage Counselor Therapist

A therapist needs to be the right fit for the individual, couple, or group that is attending therapy sessions. This is very true marriage counseling therapists; the couple must be a good fit for the therapist, and the therapist must be the right fit for both parties.

- If the therapist is not right for BOTH parts of a married couple, the balance can become lopsided. One partner in the marriage may feel that the therapist and other partner are “Ganging-up” on them, or other uncomfortable symptoms of imbalance may show. It is important for the therapist and both partners to all form 3 strong sides of a pyramid of healthy communication.
- If one or both partners do not feel comfortable being completely open and truthful with the therapist, problems may arise. It will take time (sometimes a few minutes or a few sessions) for couples to become fully comfortable with their therapist, but it is important to choose the match that gives you the best shot at adjusting quickly. People have their own quirks, and may not feel as comfortable opening up with a male versus a female therapist, or vice-versa, for example. It is important to consider personalities, behaviors, and quirks when choosing a therapist so that you can have the best chance of success.

Male Versus Female Therapist – Which is Better for Your Needs?

Read our exclusive blog on choosing a therapist and whether a male versus a female therapist is best for your personal situation. Click Here to read the blog >>

Types of Marriage Counselors and Therapists

There are lots of different credentials and certifications for therapists and counselors, so what should you be looking-for if you want a good counselor or are looking for the best marriage therapist? You should look at both “credentials” and “areas of focus.”

Credentials — credentials are important to show that the therapist or counselor is “competent.” Credentials show that they have studied the basic required education for a level of therapy, and are not just some random person claiming an expertise without anything to back up those claims. Credentials are important in finding a legitimate counselor and therapist; however, “areas of focus” is a more important factor in deciding on a marriage counselor.

Licensed therapists credentials include:

- - Licensed professional counselors (LPCs)
  - Licensed mental health counselors (LMHCs)
  - Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs)
  - Licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs)
  - Psychologists (PhDs or PsyDs)
  - Psychiatrists (MDs or DOs)

Areas of Focus — therapists and counselors all have their own specialties, or “areas of focus” that primarily work-with. Some counselors specialize in trauma or PTSD, while others focus on individuals or family counseling. Marriage and couples counselors usually focus on the complex relationships between two or more individuals in a love, sexual, or intimate relationship.

Many of the therapists at AZRI.org have their “areas of focus” listed right on their bio pages. These areas of focus are vast and range from childhood issues to sexual identity issues. Certain areas of focus can be a good match for couples, or can be a better fit for the unique problems a certain couple is facing. A therapist specializing-in infidelity may be a good fit for married couples facing infidelity, cheating and trust issues.

Visit the “Meet the Team” page of AZRI to browse through our currently available therapists and see their “areas of focus” for yourself. Familiarize yourself with our team, and this may help streamline the process of booking your consultation with a marriage counselor.

Important Notes on Choosing A Therapist

- Not all therapists will accept all types of insurance. The therapist conducting your therapy sessions will need to accept the type of insurance you plan to use, if you do plan to use insurance to pay for marriage counseling and therapy.
  - If you must use a certain type of insurance for payment, you must also match with a therapist that accepts that form of insurance.
- Be mindful of therapist’s schedule. All therapists get very busy, and everyone must work to find the best times slots available for therapy sessions.
- Be open-minded. Accept everyone’s unique personalities and perspectives.

Christian Marriage Counseling Therapists

For those of Christian Faith, we have Christian Non-Denominational therapists, LDS therapists, and therapists of various other faiths and spiritual backgrounds. We also offer Christian Pre-Marital Therapy for engaged couples and those Christian couples who are looking to get married within the scope of their Christian creeds.

How to Schedule an Appointment for Emergency Marriage Counseling

There are many factors to consider when choosing an Emergency Marriage Counselor in Arizona, but chances are that you and your spouse want to act fast. At The Arizona Relationship Institute, we make the first step easy. Just schedule your FREE 15 Minute Consultation, and we will take care of the rest. An intake specialist will schedule your initial call and get the process moving forward.

May 10, 2024

Therapy for Preventing Substance Abuse and Behavioral Issues in Teens

Arizona Teen Therapists - AZRI - Arizona Relationship Institute Mesa Gilbert JPG

As children exit their childhood stages and enter into pre-teen and teenage years, many parents fear that their changing minds and bodies — as well as the influence of peers and friends — may cause their children to experiment with drugs and alcohol, or develop behavioral issues. How can parents be proactive and help to prevent these issues from developing in their children?

Substance Abuse in Teens

Arizona teenagers have a lower risk factor for substance abuse than teenagers in other states in the United States, but the threat is still very real and very important to avoid. 7.58% if 12-17 year-olds in the State of Arizona report using drugs in the past month, Further, 12.51% of Arizona Teens admit to using marijuana at least once in the past year. Though lower than the rest of the country, the threat of substances abuse and behavioral issues in teens is still very high and a serious one.

Behavioral Problems in Teens

Teens can develop behavioral problems seemingly out-of-nowhere… it comes down to a simple choice by the teenagers whether to seek positive behaviors or negative ones. This choice happens in the teenager’s mind, and therefor the precipitation of the choice also happens 100% in the teenager’s mind. This choice might be influenced by outside opinions (parents warnings about the dangers of drugs and alcohol [positive], or by peer pressure from friends [negative]).

Reinforcing outside influences can push teens further into one choice or the other, so the more positive communication and influence you give a child/teen on this subject, the more likely they will make a positive choice when pressured into using drugs and alcohol or engaging in negative behavioral patterns.

Examples of Teen Behavioral Issues

- Self Harm
- Defiance
- Oppositional Behavior
- Aggression
- Lying
- Uncontrolled Irritability
- Aggressive Behaviors
- Moodiness
- Conduct Changes
- Argumentative

Is My Teenager’s Behavior Normal?

All of the above examples of behavioral issues are to be expected in minor doses from your teen. Teens are generally more argumentative, aggressive, defiant, and less in-control of their behaviors than children and adults, so this behavior is to be expected in minor forms. When these behaviors exceed the normal range of teenage angst and become dangerously problematic, this is indicative of a more serious problem than just normal teenage behavior.

By the time serious behavioral problems show-up in teens, it may be too late for them to reverse course easily. Instead parents want to watch for the warning signs that their teens behavior is outside the normal range, and rectify the behaviors BEFORE they get out-of-hand.

Red Flags for Teenage Behavioral Issues

Contrary to popular belief, behavioral issues are more often seen in teens and children with HIGHER intelligence, rather than in teens within an average range of intelligence. The negative and defiant behaviors often develop out of the teenager’s opinions on what they see right in front of them: in society, in circles of friends, in the behaviors of parents and teachers, and the general way the world works.

Being a teenager is all about realizing who you are and how you fit into the world around you. When things don’t fit exactly, the teenager’s mind is left to question: WHY? The teenage mind tells the individual that something needs to change in order for them to fit in. The teenager will then try and change 1 of 2 things to fit better — either the world, or themselves. This is where the behavioral issues usually stem from.

“Why should I go to school?” the teenage mind will ponder. “The way school is set up does not offer me any benefit that I can see right now, so it is not important to me.” This is where you get the defiant, combative, and aggressive behaviors in teens.

When faced with the realization that to get over this hardship they are feeling they must either change themselves or change the world, some teens get motivated while others lose their motivation. Those that lose interest and motivation are more at-risk to “drop out” instead of dealing with an issue. Not dealing with these smaller issues leads to compounded issues and eventually behavioral problems and issues.

Therapy for Disillusioned Teens

“Disillusion” is the feeling that drives behavioral problems in teens. A feeling of disappointment in something that leads them to not care about that thing anymore, and lack and motivation attached to that thing.

For example, there is a time in almost every child’s life when they go from loving school to hating it. It may happen early in life or later in life, but when the change does happen, it is because the individual has become disillusioned with the idea of school. Maybe the teen feels that school is not really as necessary as parents and teachers have proclaimed it to be; but, the teen no longer has the interest in school and performance will start dropping if they are not engaged. Rectifying this situation requires therapy, because we need to find out what exactly it was that disillusioned the teen, in order to re-instill hope and motivation once again.

Helping Teens to Grow at Their Own Pace

The problem with most school and education systems, is that they all follow a single schedule. At a certain age you begin learning ABCs, another age you learn common courtesy (please and thank you’s), and at the next age all the children move onto the next subject of learning. The problem is that not all children learn and grow at the same rate.

One 13 year old may be fully ready to move onto more complicated and advanced education subjects, while another of the same age might be behind and still need a few more months of practice to be on-par with other children. Therapists act as an outside teacher to help “coach” these teens on the problems they are facing and help to bring them to where they need to be to move-on to the next learning challenge.

Therapy and Counseling for Young Adults

Along those same lines, some teens can become young adults in their 20s before successfully tackling all of their teenage problems. Even adults need therapy and counseling for issues and ideas that were never properly dealt with as a teenager. Remedial counseling for teenage problems as an adult or young adult is quite common, nothing to be ashamed of, and therapists can work closely with you work through developmental-age issues that still persist.

Does Your Teen or Adolescent Need Therapy?

The best way to find if your child could benefit from therapy and counseling is to start with a conversation. A 15 Minute Consultation between your child and a therapist can find out what your child is thinking and worrying about. Sometimes these worries and frustrations can be fixed simply by talking about them and “getting the issue off your chest.” Often a teenager finds an outlet for their feelings and emotions through therapy, and the talk therapy alone is enough to avoid or rectify any behavioral issues in teens and young adults.

May 5, 2024May 6, 2024

Overcoming Shame, Embarrassment, and Humiliation

You can’t be perfect every moment of your life, and there will be moments in your life that are embarrassing, awkward, or downright humiliating. Learning to deal with these inevitable low points in life, and moving-on from them, is an important life skill that can benefit your mental health.

The importance of Overcoming Embarrassing Moments

Getting-over the embarrassing moments of life, and not letting them negative affect you, is so very important. Just one humiliating moment can ruin your life, but only if you let it. This is important for adults to know, and for children and teens to learn, in order to navigate the complexities of life healthily.

Lingering effects from a seriously embarrassing moment can lead to feelings of shame in a person. If unchecked, feelings of shame are incredibly toxic and can lead to depression, poor life choices, and substance abuse.

What is “Shame?”

Shame is defined as: “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.” Feelings of shame can live-on long after the incident that causes shame is over.

There are generally two types of people: those who easily overcome their mistakes, and those who do not easily overcome them. Those who are not good at coping with embarrassment and shame can let the toxic feelings multiply and increase in strength.

Letting Go of Toxic Shame

Some people are able to easily “shake off” embarrassment and move on, while others need to learn coping mechanisms and healthy ways of dealing with their own negative feelings. For those that need help, therapy for feelings of shame can teach you the vital skills that are needed for coping with embarrassment and humiliation.

While meditation, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), breathing, and self analyzation are all positive ways to deal with feelings of embarrassment and shame, there are some very negative ways of dealing with negative feelings.

Avoid Negative Behaviors That Worsen Shame

Compounding shame is a real threat, that comes when someone’s negative behavior starts to “spiral out of control.” Making bad decisions on top of the existing shame can lead to compounding feelings of shame.

Attempting to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol is one of the worst decisions you can make, but is the go-to decision for many who deal with shame and embarrassment. Many teens and young adults –who don’t know how to positively deal with feelings of shame — feel like alcohol and drugs will help them to forget about the shameful incidents. Adolescents often try to use drugs and alcohol to “turn off” their feelings, or mask their feelings — wanting to feel “numb” rather than feel any of the painful feelings and emotions.

Abusing drugs and alcohol will only worsen your problems — no matter what the problem you have. When it comes to shame, alcohol and drugs will worsen that shame, and will only “numb” you for a short time before returning you back to reality where the shame is still waiting for you to deal with it.

How to Get Over Embarrassment

Ok, so we know that not getting over embarrassment will cause even more problems in our lives, so how to we actually get over it? The process of overcoming shame and embarrassment will be unique to each individual, but therapists can help you to learn the basic coping skills that lead to overcoming shame and embarrassment.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Incident — Don’t let your mind fantasize about what you should have done or said in an incident, and don’t let your mind talk you into remembering the incident in a fictional way. Instead, acknowledge the incident for exactly how it happened. Tell yourself, ” this happened and I cannot change the past, but I can change the present and the future.”

Step 2: Learn from the Incident — Even the worst possible situations can still offer 1 benefit — the benefit of learning from the incident. Think about what you can do differently if this situation presents itself again in the future. Ponder how you can change yourself to protect yourself from attacks and being a victim of an embarrassing situation. Be the winner in the incident by taking the one prize to be had in embarrassment: be the one who learned and bettered themselves from the incident.

Step 3: Put The Incident In The Past, Where It Belongs — nothing you can do, say, or feel will change the past, so don’t let your mind wander off into thinking that you can. Put the incident in the past, move-on, and only allow feelings of positivity about overcoming and moving-on from the incident. Don’t allow the memories of that incident to bring up negative feelings. Counter both the negative feelings and the memories with positive ones.

Step 4: Don’t Avoid The People, Places, and Situations Where the Embarrassment Occurred — it will be your natural reaction to want to avoid the people, places and things connected to the embarrassing moment(s) that cause feelings of shame. While this is a natural defense mechanism (like PTSD), it does not always offer long-term benefit; it is really just a fight or flight reaction. Instead, embrace the positive people, places and things, while remaining cautious around the possible negative stimuli. You cannot completely avoid embarrassing situations in life, and trying to do so will only lead you to miss out on a lot of life.

Step 5: Acknowledge Your Success — If you have successfully overcome shameful and embarrassing situations, be sure to readily acknowledge it, both to yourself and to others. This step not only helps you to prepare for the next challenge to come, but you can help others by showing how you overcame your challenge.

Overcoming Dangerous Social Situations and Online Bullying

It should be said that purposefully trying to embarrass, shame, humiliate, or bully an person is NOT OKAY! You should never try and put someone into an awkward situation to “watch them squirm.” This seems to have been forgotten in recent years with online bullying and shaming running rampant.

Many of the risks online go far beyond being simply embarrassing, and extend to harassment, extortion, blackmailing, and other serious, criminal acts. These threats go far beyond simple embarrassment, and should be seriously considered with both legal and law enforcement professionals AND mental health professionals.

It should be understood that our advice on overcoming embarrassing situations focuses more on little incidents of awkwardness and isolated case of light embarrassment. We do not put up with bullying or cruel behaviors, and neither should you. If your experience with shame and embarrassment extends beyond a simple incident, then it no longer qualifies as an “embarrassment,” and would be categorized as an attack.

Therapy for Shame and Embarrassment

If you are suffering from feelings of shame and embarrassment, and you cannot overcome these feelings yourself, we recommend consulting a therapist to help you unwind the negative feelings and ensure that the negative memories of the past do not interfere with a positive present.

May 1, 2024May 6, 2024

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is the psychological term given to those who suffer feelings of guilt about their lives, even though they have attained their life goals. It commonly affects high achievers, and leaves a person with negative thoughts, feelings and emotions — even though they are doing everything correctly in their lives.

Examples of Imposter Syndrome

The best way to understand Imposter Syndrome is to learn more details about the lives and goals of people who suffer from this mental ailment.

Example #1: A young woman who has studied all her life, and spent years in school to be a food scientist has achieved her goals and has a coveted job as a nutritional biologist. However, the young woman does not feel like she fits into the job (even though she is excelling at it), and feels like she does not deserver the position she is in.

The young woman fears “getting deeper” into the field and feels like eventually she will one day fail and let everything in her life come tumbling down. She also feels like many of her peers during school deserve the success she has achieved much more than she deserves it. She may be suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

Example #2: A man has been working a new job, in a new field, for the past 6 months. Although he had no experience in the plumbing field, he accepted the opportunity and impressed everyone (even himself) with the way he naturally and quickly learned the basics of plumbing.

His good attitude and work ethic helped him to quickly ascend the ranks in the business, moving ahead of employees who have worked there longer than he has. All this “good luck” in a short amount of time has left the man with a lot of fear and anxiety about his success, though. He believes that a few successes in the beginning have given his bosses an inflated picture of himself, and believes that he can not keep living up to the positive first impressions. He may be suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

Example #3: Woman Number 3 is very popular and very well liked. She has the perfect husband, the perfect home, and the perfect family. Both she and her husband have worked very hard to attain this perfect life, and it is well deserved. However, deep within her is a constant fear that it will all be lost, and that her friends will find out that she is not the perfect person she appears to be all the time.

This woman is the prime example of imposter syndrome, and an example that each and every one of us may run into sometime in our lives. This is because the world gives us an example of a “perfect” life that we are supposed to strive to achieve. Not only are we pushed toward replicating this perfect example in our lives, but this exaggerated “perfect stencil” for a life simply does not fit for everyone. She may be suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome Versus Regret

For some, Imposter Syndrome and the feelings behind it, are caused by legitimate regrets. But many of those suffering from Imposter Syndrome do so without feelings of regret — feeling that they would not change a thing in their lives, but don’t feel good about where they are at and who they are. This is where the truest form of (IS) can occur, without any regret or a specific change in live the person is longing-for.

Regret is defined as a feeling of sadness or loss over something that has happened or been done. Additionally, a person can feel like an imposter due to something that has happened or been done. It is important for psychologists and therapists to determine if the IS and regret are directly linked, or are if one is simply an additional symptom of the overall diagnosis.

Even Psychologists and Medical Professionals Experience Imposter Syndrome Periodically

Because Imposter Syndrome usually occurs to high-achievers and those who have experienced success in life, there is a high rate of (IS) in medical professionals and psychotherapists. The medical professional has a lot of preparation and education before you truly get immersed in the actual work. This leads to many doctors and those in medical professions to feel inadequate, or feel like imposters.

Therapists and counselors have to be a rock and foundation for many other people. Having to be mentally-anchored constantly, and having to be the charismatic voice of reason all the time can cause you to question your own commitments.

Fear, Anxiety, and Low Self-Worth Can Hold You Back In Life

It is important to overcome Imposter Syndrome, and any negative self worth issues if you want to see your goals all the way to the end. Getting hung-up on little mental impediments can delay you on your path to a happy and fruitful life.

Imposter Syndrome and feeling like you don’t deserve success is one of the biggest impediments that can not only cause you to make the wrong life decisions, it can actually cause exactly that which you fear with (IS): loss of your success.

Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Arizona

At The Arizona Relationship Institute, many of our therapists specialize in therapy for imposter syndrome. Several of our therapists have encountered Imposter Syndrome personally, and overcome its grasp. Further, our life coaches and life change therapists keep you on-track in life. We have created a full-spectrum treatment plan for not only dealing with low self esteem and self worth issues, but a plan to help you overcome these challenges at various points in your life and ensure you meet and exceed your life goals.

April 1, 2024

Neurodivergent Meaning: What is Neurodivergence?

It has long been known that everyone’s brain functions differently. Artists, inventors, and thinkers are often praised for the way their minds work just as much as they are praised for the works they produce. The “great minds” of history are called-such because their minds worked differently than most, but in a way that was highly efficient and at unique perspectives. These types of thinkers are all “neurodivergent.”

What is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity simply means that all brains are different. Like fingerprints, the connections, synapses (spaces), and networks of the brain are all unique to each person. No two people have brains that form and function in the exact same way; each person’s brain shows unique “diversity.”

The term “Neurodiversity” was first used by Sociologist Judy Singer in 1998. She, like many other sociologists and neuroscientists, wanted a term that could be used for individuals’ whose brains unction atypically (differently) than neurotypical brains. Each brain functions in its own way, but 80% of the populations brains function very similarly — or “neurotypically.”

What Does Neurodivergent Mean?

Neurodivergent is a person whose brain functions differently than the 80% majority of the “neurotypical” population. Simply put, neurodivergent peoples brains process information differently.

Am I Neurodivergent?

Neurodivergent is an “umbrella term” for those whose brains function differently, and often there are no “symptoms” or characteristics that would make a person’s neurodivergence apparent. However, there are a number of medical conditions that affect the brain processes and inherently make a person neurodivergent.

Autism, Autism-Spectrum Disorders, and Neurodivergence

Autistic Children at all spectrum levels are neurodivergent, in-that their brains function differently than the 80% majority of “Neurotypicals.” Those with Autism-Spectrum disorder often suffer from less intense symptoms of autism, though their brains still function differently — placing them in the neurodivergent category.

Not all neurodivergents suffer from a medical condition or autism, but a high number of those with autism are neurodivergents. It is important to remember that neurodivergence is not a handicap or mental/physical malady, but simply a brain that functions differently than most.

Neurodivergence is on a spectrum, just like autism — and the spectrum goes from mild to severe. Some neurodivergents find little-to-no impact on their daily life, while others find that it causes great impact on their daily lives.

ADD, ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder & Neurodivergence

Is ADHD Neurodivergent? Yes! ADD and ADHD are neurodevelopmental disorders (disorders that first appear during the development of the brain). These disorders lead to neurodivergence in ADD/ADHD sufferers — sometimes extreme neurodivergence, and other times the neurodivergence is very slight and not readily noticeable.

Again, there is nothing “wrong” or “problematic” with the way ADD/ADHD sufferers brains — they just function differently than what is considered “normal” by sociological “Standards.”

What Conditions are Included in Neurodiversity?

There are a number of medical conditions that cause greater instances of neurodiversity, including:

- Autism
- Autism-Spectrum Disorder
- Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
- Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
- Bipolar Disorder (BPD)
- Dyscalculia
- Dyslexia
- Dyspraxia
- Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)
- Dysgraphia
- Misophonia
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Prader-Willi Syndrome
- Slow processing speed
- Social Anxiety Disorder
- Stammering
- Tourette’s syndrome
- Williams Syndrome

Is BPD Neurodivergent?

Experts don’t officially recognize Bipolar Disorder (BPD) as a neurodivergent condition, but many Bipolar Disorder sufferers are neurodivergent. Experts argue that too many BPD sufferers align more with neurotypicals versus neurodivergents for BPD itself to a neurodivergent condition.

However, that separation is typical of neurodiversity – the neurodiversity can be tied to a medical condition or not. Neurodiversity is its own condition separate from all other conditions, even though it often accompanies other conditions like autism at a higher rate.

Neurodivergent Examples

Examples are the best way to communicate the complexities of some neurodivergence cases. Examples of famous neurodivergents examples to illustrate the point give a better understanding of the idea.

Famous Neurodivergent People

- Animal Scientist: Temple Grandin
- Actor: Sir Anthony Hopkins
- Artist: Vincent Van Gogh
- Inventor: Nikola Tesla
- Author: F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Activist: Greta Thunberg
- Scientist: Sir Isaac Newton
- Director: Tim Burton
- Scientist: Alan Turing
- Artist: Michelangelo
- Poet: William Butler Yeats
- Author: Hans Christian Anderson
- Founding Father: Thomas Jefferson
- Comedian: Jerry Seinfeld
- Founder of IKEA: Ingvar Kamprad
- Poet: Emily Dickenson
- Actor: Ryan Gosling
- Actor: Dan Ackroyd
- Actress: Liv Tyler
- And: More…

Do Neurodivergents Face More Struggles Than Neurotypicals?

We live in a neurotypical society, with standards that are literally set in stone and steel. People are told and expected to act in a very certain way. This works fine for the 80% majority of the population that is neurotypical, but can cause issues for those who are neurodivergent.

Social anxiety and awkwardness are only the minor struggles a neurodivergent may find when navigating the Neurotypical “real world.” School, work, and social functions seems to be where neurodivergents struggle the most — since these three institutions are all about “fitting in” to a predetermined criteria. While many neurodivergents overcome these obstacles or their neurodivergent minds find comfort working through the challenges, many others let themselves get overcome by the anxiety and challenges.

Nurturing Neurodivergent Children and Adults

It is so important to nurture neurodivergent minds all throughout life. Neurodivergent minds become the great thinkers of our generations, if nurtured properly. This means telling neurodivergents that their minds are precious gifts, not impairments, and encouraging them to follow their education, dreams, and goals.

Therapy and Counseling for Neurodivergent Children and Adults

Therapy and counseling to help through mental health challenges, anxiety and depression is all about working through the processes of the mind. This is why it is critical that a neurodivergent’s therapist understands that he/she/they are neurodivergent and understands how to treat someone a neurodivergent mind.

Therapy For Neurodivergents in Arizona

The Arizona Relationship Institute and our therapists have a deep understanding of diversity in people and their minds. We are neurodiversity-informed and can treat adults, children, and families with both neurotypical and neurodivergent minds.