Anyone who has been cheated-on knows the deep pain that infidelity causes. Cheating is a betrayal that cuts deep and scars a person mentally and emotionally for years. In 2024, we now know the importance of treating trauma and traumatic experiences in order to keep positive mental health. We also know that betrayal and trauma caused by cheating and infidelity is extremely important to treat, as it can spiral into worsening emotional and mental problems if left untreated.
Cheating: The Ultimate Betrayal
Some individuals (both men and women) can take a nonchalant look at cheating, considering it “not a big deal” or a part of their own open sexuality. But even in open sexual relationships, feelings can get hurt, messages can get mixed, and people develop a feeling of betrayal.
Some serial-cheaters themselves are deeply racked with their own feelings of betrayal, and sub-consciously or consciously tie their own infidelities with negative feelings of resentment, remorse, and regret.
Overcoming Soft Infidelity
So-called “soft infidelity” is a rising trend in the social media age. Men and women alike can put way too much personal info or intimate images out onto Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, and other platforms. Jealousy issues from Instagram and Social Media can arise between couples leaving 1 or both partners feeling betrayed.
In an over-sexualized society like we have today, many social media influencers, artists, models, and content producers may feel pressured to sexualize themselves more in their art, photos, dress, and behaviors. If your job is to sell your sexiness, beauty, image, or appeal, your significant other may develop negative feelings in-time.
These feelings can lead to infidelity from both sides, with one or the other partner cheating. Overcoming these challenges in a relationship is NOT impossible, but takes work and communication. Work and communication is aided with the help of a sex therapist or couples therapist.
When Should You See A Therapist After Being Cheated On?
If the issues are causing you any mental strain at all, and you cannot deal with it yourself, you should consider the help of a therapist. That is what therapists are here for, to assist you in dealing with your thoughts and feelings. The thoughts and feelings that erupt after the betrayal of infidelity are quite immense and usually quite negative. Dealing with so many negatives at once is difficult for even the soundest of people; so, don’t be ashamed to reach out for help.
Taking Friends Advice On Infidelity
Our blog on “Taking Relationship Advice From Friends and Family” does a great job of explaining why friends and family are not certified, trained therapists and not the best answer for your therapeutic needs. In general, don’t take relationships advice from your friends and family, or at least take it with a large grain of salt.
Dealing with the Trauma of Infidelity
The first order of business is to treat the initial trauma of infidelity in the person being cheated-on. The feelings of shock, disgust, disbelief, and grief can take an emotional toll on the individual and cause them to make rash decisions, lose control of their emotions, or engage in unhealthy behaviors themselves.
No “Eye For An Eye” Cheating
The worst idea you can have in response to infidelity is to think that you “deserve” to cheat also, or that cheating yourself will also cause your significant other the same pain you are feeling. This is a rash decision that can have significant negative repercussions on your mental and physical health.
Also, be very careful about immediately pursuing other relationships or sexual encounters immediately after experiencing the betrayal of infidelity and being cheated-on. Once again, you may think you “deserve” the new encounter or relationship, but that is not a healthy way to start a relationship.
Overcoming Trust Issues After Infidelity
The biggest therapy issue facing those who have been cheated-on is learning to trust again. Men and women alike identify a lack of trust in their partner as the longest-lasting of the negative symptoms of trauma from infidelity. Many cheaters themselves also are acting out of their own long-term symptoms of trauma, including deep trust issues.
Ironically it is often a lack of trust that makes many individuals cheat; a lack of trust that they are loved or cared for, or lack of trust that anyone will be sexually faithful to them.
Trauma-Informed Therapists in Mesa Arizona
At the Arizona Relationships Institute (AZRI) in Mesa, we focus on overcoming the hardest of challenges in relationships, especially infidelity. Additionally, many of our therapists are expertly trained in the latest trauma-informed therapies and trauma-focused education. As an institution, we recognize the large part that trauma plays on the human psyche and the importance of treating trauma for a healthy and sound mind, body and soul.
Therapy for Overcoming Cheating and Infidelity
If you have experienced a particular devastating betrayal in your life that has caused you significant trauma, we invite you to reach out to the Arizona Relationship Institute or other Competent Trauma Therapists to start the healing process.
Without overcoming infidelity, many individuals let the effects of trauma last for months or even years, and allow the trauma to negatively affect positive relationships with good people. AZRI wants to help you rebuild connections in your life and rebuild yourself into someone who can safely and comfortably build new relationships.
