What Is LGBTQ+ Informed Therapy?
At Arizona Relationship Institute, we use the term “LGBTQ+ Informed” to describe many of our therapists. Like other types of “Informed Therapies” (Trauma-Informed Therapy, Addiction-Informed Therapy, etc.) it designates that the therapists themselves are “informed” on the topics stated. This means that they have the training, knowledge, and capabilities of therapeutically helping individuals with those topics — should those skills be needed.
For example, a “Trauma-Informed Therapist” may work with someone who has never experienced trauma in their life, though the therapist has the skills and understanding — if it should be needed. This is important because many times therapists will uncover hidden or suppressed traumatic memories and experiences. These can be uncovered in a split second during therapy, so it is important for the therapist to be equipped with the knowledge and skills to handle the situation — should it arise.
LGBTQ+ Informed Therapists
Similarly, an LGBTQ+ Informed Therapist works with all types of patients — even patients with no connections to LGBTQ+ culture, sexuality, or urges. Yet, the therapist is armed with a broad understanding of the sexual and gender spectrums. Their expansive knowledge on sex and sexuality give them an expert and master’s view on the topics, which in-turn helps them to answer a wide range of questions on sex and intimate relationships.
LGBTQ+ Therapists can help those with questions about sex and sexuality and answer from a more informed standpoint, than therapists without this knowledge and understanding.
Sexual Fluidity and Spectrum Sexuality
Sex is not strictly polar; it is not black and white, there are many shades of grey in between. The varying degrees of people’s sexuality make up a spectrum that is as diverse as the people who are included in it. There is not just straight or gay, there are a number of degrees between these two ends of the spectrum. There is not just gay, straight an bi-sexual either — there is a spectrum between these designations that also exists.
Why is it important? Because just as important as it is for someone to create descriptors that designate common points on the spectrum (like Straight, Gay, or Bi), it is equally important for those between those points to have a descriptor that they can relate-to. These descriptors are often called “Labels” — which in-itself is a bad name, ad the word “label” has its own connotations.
Navigating the Connotations of Sexual Terms and Labels
Labels are fine enough for getting a general descriptor of a person, their personality, and their overall sexual identity; but they are very generalized, and generalization often leads to misunderstanding. To make matters worse, many of the common labels have developed their own connotations and stigmas over the years, this can make a person uncomfortable with being attributed to a label. A person may not like being labeled as “gay,” if this is not the term they feel best describes their own identity.
Instead of getting hung-up on the existing labels and connotations, people need to look into their own hearts and trust their own feelings and intuitions. Create your own story and identity! This is why we at AZRI use the term “LGBTQ+” to describe the wide range of sexual identities – “+” stands for the infinite possibilities of ways to describe one’s sexuality and sexual identity.
Your Sexual Past Does Not Necessarily Create Your Sexual Identity
Nor do your sexual urges create your identity. You alone create your identity, and this is what an LGBTQ+ Informed Therapist helps you to understand. You are more than just straight, gay, or in-between, and thinking only inside of that box can sometimes lead you to develop sexual problems, both mental and physical.
Dealing With Spectrum Sexual Urges in a “Straight” Relationship
Because the sexual spectrum is so fluid, a persons sexual desires can change throughout their lives. A self-identified man can have sexual attractions towards women primarily for most of their lives and develop sexual attractions to men later. Likewise, a young man can have sexual attractions toward men early in life and lose those attractions later in life. The same is true with self-identified women. The fluidity of the sexual spectrum is not only diverse among different individuals, but is diverse within individuals themselves.
If you develop or continually have sexual urges that do not fit within your current sexual or relational situation, you are going to feel conflicted until you learn how to deal with the urges and make them fit into your current sexual identity and situation, or re-evaluate your identity and situation.
Sexual Desires, Your Life, and Your Identity
Always put your life and your safety ahead of your sexual urges! This is the critical important lesson that all sexually active individuals must remember. Sex is a beautiful and pleasing act, but it can also be dangerous. While we do encourage individuals to explore their own sexual identity, we must remind everyone of the dangers of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs and STIs), and the psychological dangers of sex.
The Hidden Dangers of Sexuality
Sex addiction is real and can cause your life to spiral out of control just like with addiction to drugs and alcohol. Make sure that you keep “grounded” about sex and you keep your sex healthy and free from “extremes” that may negatively alter your perception on sex and sexuality. Don’t let your desires become “obsessions”, as obsessive thoughts and actions are extremely unhealthy and can negatively affect other corners of your life.
Don’t Put Sexual Urges Over What Is Important In Your Life
Don’t derail your life over sexual urges and don’t change who you are based off your sexual desires and identities. Remember to put your life’s priorities over everything else – including your relationships. Your career goals, life goals, and philosophical/spiritual goals supersede everything else.
Likewise, remember to separate your partner or someone you care about from your sexual urges. Those you care about, and your family should come in second in your life, just behind caring for yourself first.
How LGBTQ+ Informed Therapists and Counselors Can Help You Avoid Sexual and Identity Misdirection
While we are very happy that LGBTQ+ issues and culture has been more prominently included in media and culture in recent years, this has also become a problem for the people that identify with LGBTQ+. Popularity also draws a lot of negative associations. More LGBTQ+ individuals are getting scammed, subjected to psychological attacks (via media, marketing, social media, etc.), and mislead than ever before in history. You can’t believe everything you hear online or from friends, and this is very true with LGBTQ+ sexuality topics.
There is a lot of propaganda going around that tells you that if you identify as LGBTQ+ then you should also (THIS). This kind of thinking defies the openness and fluidify that LGBTQ+ stands for. There is also a lot of division and separation being driven in popular cultural LGBTQ+ topics; be sure to rise above the division and focus on your own love and identity.
Don’t let popular media opinions about LGBTQ+ topics define YOUR opinion on the topics. You have your own opinion, embrace it and let it be your guide.
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