Male Therapists or Female Therapists? Which Is Better For Your Needs?
This is an important question that each individual seeking therapy must ask when trying to find a therapist nearby. It is also incredibly important to be open-minded and overcome gender stereotypes when looking for a therapist.
Men and women can BOTH learn a lot from therapy with a male therapist, just as they can with a female therapist. Your admissions specialist may even recommend that you see both a male and female therapist at the same time or off-and-on between the two.
The Differences Between Male and Female Mindsets
Men think differently than women, and women think differently than men — this is the way nature made us, and it is a very intelligent design, actually. Males and females work together with their strengths and weaknesses to form a better single unit.
Females tend to have similar thinking patters while males tend to share the opposite thinking patterns; this leads to 2 distinct perspectives to every problem, a side-view and top view, if you will. Just as you can turn a Two-Dimensional Drawing (2D) into a Three-Dimensional Drawing (3D) with an additional perspective, you can see problems and their solutions more clearly with an additional DIFFERENT perspective.
Gender Preferences For Therapists
Usually a person already has a preferred gender in-mind for their therapist before they start searching for nearby therapists. In the beginning, patients of therapists are very adamant about the gender of a therapist that they want to see: male or female. Quite often, patients are also very adamant that they DO NOT want to be seen by a therapist of a certain gender. Your intake specialist will take your preferences into consideration when matching you with the best therapist that matches your needs.
Should Men See A Male Therapist and Women See A Female Therapist?
It is a popular opinion and pre-conceived notion that women should automatically see a female therapist, and men should see a male therapist. This is NOT TRUE, and in some cases, matching a patient and a therapist solely on gender can lead to a mismatch with your counselor / therapist.
In the cases of sexual trauma, sexual dysfunction, and other sensitive topics, the gender of the therapist may weigh more heavily on the decision of which therapist is best for you. However, intake specialists see past many gender and cultural stereotypes, and focus on therapeutic specializations and experience.
The Benefits of a Female Therapist for Therapy
Females (in general) are more emotionally-minded than males, and they are much better-equipped to give their perspective on your concerns from an emotional standpoint, whereas males are more logic-minded and give a more mechanical perspective from a standpoint of what is logical (to them). These are very general perspectives and are gender stereotypes themselves; each therapist brings their own unique perspective, experiences, and education to the therapy session, and their dedication should always exceed their own gender and/or knee-jerk stereotypes.
Why Women Should Consider Seeing a Male Therapist
Some of the best advice many women have gotten has come from men, and likewise the best advice men have gotten as often come from women. Women see their own problems from their own FLAT (2D) point of view most of the time, but can see their own problems and concerns from a second perspective with the view of a male therapist.
Using this better view of both sides of their problems, a women can find their own solution to mental and emotional problems on their own. Likewise, the same process can happen with men who see female counselors.
Why Men Should Consider Seeing a Female Therapist
Men should consider seeing a female therapist for their own emotional and mental health concerns to get a different perspective of the concerns. Quite often the very first session with a female therapist can show a man the female perspective on their problems. This new perspective can offer better and quicker successes in therapy than may have been achieved without the unique perspective of a female therapist.
Relationships Problems in Men Versus Women
In therapy and counseling for relationships and sexual, intimate relationships, men have a tendency to only want to discuss the issues with another man. Vice-versa, women are compelled to only want to divulge their sexual and relationship secrets to another women. This comes from our social standards — in society; men are expected and taught to discuss and learn-from each others intimacy and relationship issues in a group of men, while women are encouraged to keep their discussions within their own gender group.
Relationships are built on the bridging of opposites — you learn each others’ differences and similarities. You and your significant other meld your own personalities together and your relationship becomes a part of you. Looking at your own relationships and diagnosing problems with it is as difficult as looking at yourself and diagnosing your own faults. This is why we usually seek the outside opinions of our friends for relationship problems.
Because of our own gender stereotypes, and what we are taught is normal, men tend to only feel comfortable talking about their relationship problems with other men, and women with women. This usually does NOT help, and is why we seek further advice from a therapist. At this point is important to be open-minded to the therapeutic opinions of the opposite sex.
Being Open to Cultural Uniqueness in Your Therapist
Just as you should be open to the idea of a therapist of the opposite gender, you should openly embrace the cultural differences you and your therapist share. Even if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you can benefit from the perspective of an individual in an LQBTQ+ relationship, just as queer, gay, and lesbian couples can benefit from the perspective of a heterosexual male or female.
Everyone has unique backgrounds, and when people of different background get together and simply talk, that is when the magic of humanity happens. Someone from the “East Coast” can learn from the perspective of a person from the “West Coast,” Christians can learn from the culture and perspective of those of the of faiths, and so-on…
Be Open-Minded in Your Search For a Therapist
Our best advice is to be open-minded to a therapist who DOES NOT share the same gender as you, especially for emotional, mental, and intimacy therapy. Breakthroughs in therapy happen when you see your problems from a different perspective and are able to take-action to resolve those problems. Breakthroughs are harder to attain if you are staying only in your comfort zone versus seeing your problem from all different sides.
It is important for you to be open-minded to your therapist’s background and characteristics, just as it is important for them to be open-minded to yours…
At The Arizona Relationship Institute We Have a Diverse Team of Different Genders, Gender Identities, Cultural Backgrounds, and Faiths
We Invite You To Start A Free 15 Minute Consultation to See Which Therapist Matches Your Needs Best! Your Match May Surprise You, and That Is A Good Thing!
