As therapist we are taught the importance of self care. We then go on to share this knowledge with our clients, Reminding them… “to put the mask on ourselves before others,” or that you… “can’t pour from an empty cup;” these became mantras within my therapy office. However this was much easier said than done, and I was often left feeling that the roles of wife, mom, therapist, friend, and daughter were draining my cup faster than I could fill it.
Advice from a Therapist on Juggling Roles in your Life
My clients were no different. They also had multiple roles in their lives they were trying to juggle. Roles that also often left them feeling overwhelmed, drained and tired. This was across the board it didn’t matter if my clients were men, women, teenagers or seniors. Why?? Why has it become seen as selfish or even a sin to take time out for ourselves?
Self Care can be defined in a variety of ways. To some this means doing something nice for ourselves such as a pedicure, to others it means finding time to go on a three week retreat. I like to think of self care as being more encompassing, a way in which we live, not just something we do for ourselves. Self care should become a conscious act we take to promote our total well being.
Switching the narrative from I am being selfish to this is what I need can be difficult to accomplish. Start with reframing how you view self care. Begin with thinking of self care as mindful steps you take that will lend resiliency to you when your stress levels starts to rise and life tries to runaway with you.
The Segments of Holistic Self Care
Breaking self care into categories can help you start to make self care into a way of life.
Physical Self Care:
We all know we should stay active and healthy. How many times do we tell ourselves we would do this or that if we just had the time? Here is the thing, there is always time. Caring for yourself physically does not simply mean working out. Sleeping is one of, if not the most important things we can do for ourselves. Determining how much sleep you need, is easy; there are charts, you can Google it or, can ask your dr. Once you have the number…Give yourself that many hours. Develop good sleep habits. Meaning learn what you need to help yourself wind down in the evening. Help you brain prepare for sleep. Stop screen time, take a bath, or stretch. As new parents we are told to develop bedtime routines for our infants and toddlers…because they work. Develop and maintain your own bedtime routine and then be as consistent as you can.
Drink water…hydration is an easy way to care for yourself and you don’t even have to look for extra time in your day to do it. Carry water with you at all times. Don’t wait to be thirsty to start drinking. Sleep and hydration are both vital to our overall well being, illness can result from the depriving ourselves of one or both. Making sleep and hydration as a priority you are helping your body and immune system to work at optimal levels.
Practical Self Care:
Finding ways to prevent or alleviate future stressors is also a form of self care. Setting up a savings account, and creating and maintaining a budget are ways to help prepare for your future. Over buying school supplies at the beginning of the school year, can help alleviate stress when your child says they need a new notebook at 10pm. Practical self care is finding little ways to help yourself through the week to help lessen the stress life throws at us.
Mental Self Care:
Making sure our minds stay sharp is an act of self care. No matter how difficult your job is if you do it every day, our brains can become complacent. Get your brain thinking in different ways. Take time to do a puzzle; crossword, jigsaw or otherwise.
Social Self Care:
The activities we think more of when we think self care; such as getting pedicures, or getting a drink with a friend. We are all busy and can use time as an excuse forever. Reconnecting with friends or family is crucial to us as we are wired for connection and we can often fill out of wack when we go to long without connection.
Emotional Self Care:
Our days and interactions are often measured against how we felt emotionally during our day. Think of your emotional health as a thermometer. When we go to long not tending to our emotional health we can become stressed out or angry. We start to run an emotional fever. We may notice the fever when it is low grade or the fever may hit 102.0 overnight. This fever often leaves us feeling alone in our overwhelmedness. Finding ways to tend to our emotional selves allow the stressors that always appear in our lives more manageable. At times our emotions can seem so heavy and feel as though they weight us down. By processing and exploring out past hurts and the negative self talk that keeps u, help to keep our emotional temperatures at a steady 98.7.
Spiritual self Care:
When people hear the word spirituality they often equate this with religion. Taking care of your spiritual health can include this as many people find peace through organized religion. However if you are not one of these people, you can still tend to your spirituality. Being in touch with ourselves spiritual health means getting in touch with our human spirit or soul. Mediating, taking time to commune with nature, or any activity that puts you in touch with your higher power, nurtures our spiritual health.
Waiting until we are sick, have an injury, or just can’t function, has become the norm for us to seek treatment. It is no wonder that when we do not tend to our physical health that we easily let the areas we don’t see go unattended.
If you are tired and overwhelmed or just don’t know where to start, I challenge you to start tending to these parts of yourself. Discover ways to honor yourself in each category. Prioritize honoring yourself in these ways weekly; if not daily.
Remember the only person’s permission you need to make yourself a priority is yours.
