Category: Couples Therapy

If you’ve already tried the long talks, the relationship podcast, the article a friend sent, or a planned date night, and things still slip back into the same painful place, that does not mean you’re bad at relationships. You might talk, feel closer for an evening, and then wake up to the same tension the next morning about dishes, money, sex, or who is carrying everything again.

This section is here to help you notice repeating patterns, what they may be pointing to, and why support can help when effort alone is not changing the cycle. Often, the issue is not a lack of love or care. It’s a pattern between two people that keeps bringing the same hurt back.

Signs You Need Couples Therapy

• Failed repair loops:
  • You try to make things better with apologies, explanations, or a reset, but the same argument keeps returning because the deeper hurt did not get addressed.
• Quiet resentment behind politeness:
  • Things may look calm on the surface, but disappointment and hurt keep building underneath everyday “fine” conversations.
• Emotional shutdown or stonewalling:
  • One or both of you go numb, leave, get very quiet, or stop engaging because the conflict feels too intense to stay with.
• Value misalignment posing as communication issues:
  • The fight sounds like it’s about tone or timing, but underneath it may be about different priorities, expectations, or ways of living.
• Unequal mental load:
  • One partner is often tracking, planning, remembering, and managing more, and that imbalance keeps turning into conflict or distance.

When Talking it Through Still Doesn’t Change Anything

Many couples get to this point after trying hard on their own. They have honest conversations, read advice, promise to do better, and even have good moments of connection. Then stress hits, someone gets defensive, a repair attempt lands badly, or emotional shutdown takes over, and the same pain returns.

For many people, this is one of the clearest signs that extra support may help. When you begin to notice these patterns taking over, it may be a sign that additional support could be helpful. Therapy can offer a place to slow the cycle down, name quiet resentment, notice value misalignment, and talk about the unequal mental load without every conversation turning into blame. If this feels familiar, getting help may be less about crisis and more about interrupting stuck patterns before they harden further.

The Fight is Not Really One Fight: Understanding The Repair Attempt

Many repeated arguments follow a familiar pattern. What may look like “the same fight again” is often a repetitive cycle that both partners can become caught in. The conflict begins, one or both people attempt to reconnect, and the repair attempt does not quite land.

Repair attempts are the small things people do to de-escalate conflict and find their way back to each other. They may include apologizing, making a joke, softening their tone, reaching for a hand, offering reassurance, or simply asking for a reset.

When failed repair attempts keep piling up, both people can leave the conversation feeling unseen. One partner may truly be trying. The other may still feel hurt, flooded, or guarded, so the effort does not register as care. It can sound like: “I said sorry, but you were still cold,” and “I heard the words, but nothing changed after.” Over time, repair attempts that fail can make both people feel more discouraged and reactive.

A Common Loop

• A trigger happens:
  • A late text, a forgotten task, a sharp tone, or feeling dismissed.
• One person protests:
  • They complain, push for an answer, or bring up older examples.
• The other gets defensive:
  • They explain, shut down, or argue about the facts.
• A repair attempt happens, but it is too late, too small, or mismatched for the moment.
• Things go quiet for now, but the hurt stays active underneath.
• The next trigger brings the whole pattern back.

A repair attempt that does not land does not automatically mean the relationship is wrong or that you are incompatible. Often, it means the repair process is too weak, comes too late, or is addressing the wrong need. For example, one partner may need reassurance before they can move forward, while the other wants to solve the problem first. Both may be reaching for connection, but in different ways.

One overlooked sign that additional support may be helpful is not constant conflict, but a cycle in which both partners continue trying to reconnect and still feel like they are missing each other. With support, couples can begin to slow the pattern down enough to recognize what is happening before the conflict escalates. This can create more space for apologies, resets, and other attempts at reconnection to be heard and received in the way they were intended.

Quiet Resentment Can Look Like Being ‘Fine’

Quiet resentment is hurt, disappointment, or anger that goes underground instead of being addressed directly. On the surface, things may look polite or calm. Underneath, one or both partners may feel let down, unseen, or tired of carrying the same pain alone.

You might notice it in small everyday moments. Saying “it’s fine” when it isn’t, doing favors with a hard edge, keeping mental lists of who did what, avoiding honest requests, or feeling lonely while acting pleasant. Quiet resentment can also show up as low-grade irritation, short answers, or a sense that you are living more like coworkers than close partners.

This pattern often grows when people fear conflict, want to keep the peace, or believe their needs will not matter anyway. Staying silent can feel safer in the moment. Over time, though, that silence often turns into distance. Then a later talk about dishes, texting back, or weekend plans can sound much bigger than the current issue, because older pain is riding along too.

3-Question Self-Check

• Do I often stay silent to avoid a reaction?
• Do small issues feel loaded because older hurts are still there?
• Do I feel more like a manager or roommate than a partner?

If you answered yes to more than one, consider that quiet resentment may be part of the cycle. This can be easy to miss, especially when the relationship looks “fine” from the outside but feels tense or lonely on the inside.

Before support, resentment often hides behind politeness, withdrawal, or scorekeeping. After support, many couples learn to name needs earlier and address small hurts before they harden into distance.

When One or Both of You Shut Down

Emotional shutdown can look like going numb, blank, detached, or suddenly unable to keep engaging during stress. Stonewalling — shutting the conversation down by going silent, leaving, or becoming hard to reach — can happen when a person feels overwhelmed. That does not erase the impact on the relationship, but it is often a protection response, not proof that someone does not care.

You might notice a familiar pattern where one person pushes harder for answers, while the other gets quieter, forgetful, or physically tense. A jaw clenches. Eyes go flat. Someone says, “I don’t know,” even when they want to respond. This often happens when a person moves outside their window of tolerance — the range where you can stay present and talk without your body going into panic, numbness, or shutdown. When someone is outside that range, more pressure usually does not create clarity. It often creates more distance.

A 20-minute Pause-and-Return Plan

1. Name the pause clearly. Consider saying, “I want to keep talking, but I’m shutting down and need 20 minutes.”

2. Set an exact return time. Pick a specific time, such as “Let’s come back at 7:40,” so the pause does not feel like disappearing.

3. Do one grounding step. For many people, it helps to drink cold water, feel both feet on the floor, or take a short walk without rehearsing the argument.

4. Return and start smaller. Try one sentence about the feeling or need, not the whole case: “I felt cornered and I want to try again.”

When to use it: This often helps when voices are rising, one person is going blank, or the conversation is turning into emotional shutdown.

Example: “I’m not leaving this conversation; I’m overloaded. I’m going to sit on the porch, drink some water, and come back at 8:10.”

This may not work for everyone. If pausing increases fear or distress, scale back or discuss it with a clinician. Before support, one person often pushes while the other disappears. After support, pauses can become more predictable, safer, and more likely to lead back to the conversation. For many couples, what signals the need for help is not the shutdown itself, but the fact that neither of you knows how to interrupt the pattern together.

It May Not Be “Just Communication”: Values and Mental Load

Sometimes a couple can talk clearly and still feel stuck because they are trying to solve the wrong problem. What sounds like a communication issue may actually be a value misalignment, which means important differences in priorities, expectations, or what gives something meaning. This can show up around money, family boundaries, parenting, sex, religion, ambition, or downtime. For example, one partner may want frequent family visits, while the other needs more privacy and rest. The argument may sound like “Why are you being difficult?” or “Why do you need so much space?” when the deeper issue is that each person is protecting a different value.

Another common strain is unequal mental load. This means one partner is carrying more of the invisible work of daily life with planning, remembering, anticipating, and organizing. One person may be tracking appointments, meals, school forms, social plans, gift-buying, and car maintenance, while the other helps mainly when asked. Over time, this often creates quiet resentment. The partner carrying more may feel alone and overextended. The other may feel criticized and confused, especially if they believe they are helping.

A Quick Self-Check

• Are we arguing about how something was said when the real conflict is about what matters most to each of us?
• Does one of us mostly notice tasks only after the other person brings them up?
• Do we keep calling each other “too needy” or “never satisfied” instead of naming the structure or expectation that is not working?

A Same-Fight Moment Can Sound Like This:

• “I asked for help with your mom’s birthday gift three times.”
• “You should’ve just told me what to buy.”
• “That’s the point–I’m tired of being the one who has to remember everything.”

For many couples, this is where support can help most. Not because anyone is the problem, but because the real issue stays hidden under tone, timing, or blame. Before support, couples often argue about effort while the value conflict or load imbalance goes unnamed. After support, expectations can become more explicit, and many people find it easier to name the values or responsibilities that need to be shared more directly.

By this point, the pattern may be easier to see. Failed repair loops can keep reopening the same hurt, quiet resentment can build under politeness, shutdown or stonewalling can block repair, and values misalignment or unequal mental load can make “communication” fights feel endless. The next step is not to judge the relationship, but to pause and use a few simple tools to see what kind of support may fit best.

A Simple Check-In Guide Before You Decide What Support You Need

• If the same issue returns within ____ days, then we will name the pattern instead of restarting the whole case:
  • “We’re back in the dishes fight. What part did not get resolved last time?”
• If one of us goes into emotional shutdown, then we will take a timed pause and set a return time:
  • “Let’s pause for 20 minutes and come back at 7:30.”
• If quiet resentment shows up as sarcasm, short answers, or silence, then we will name one feeling and one need:
  • “I’m feeling resentful, and I need us to make this more shared.”
• If a fight keeps circling, then we will ask whether this is really about values misalignment, not just tone:
  • “Are we arguing about bedtime, or about structure, rest, and fairness?”
• If unequal mental load is part of the strain, then we will look at the invisible tasks, not just the visible chores.

Tool 1: A Weekly 15-Minute State-of-Us Check-In

When to use it: This often helps when conversations either escalate fast, go nowhere, or never happen at all.

1. Pick one set time each week.
2. Each person shares one appreciation, one current stress, one request, and one plan for the week.
3. Write down the request and plan in one sentence.

Example: “I appreciated you handling pickup, I’m stressed about work, I want 30 minutes alone tonight, and our plan is that you handle dinner Wednesday.”

Tool 2: A Mental Load Map

When to use it: Consider this when one or both of you feel more like a manager than a partner.

1. Each partner lists visible tasks and invisible tasks.
2. Compare lists without debating whose list is “right.”
3. Redistribute one category for the next two weeks, such as meals, school emails, or social planning.

Example: “You will fully own appointments this month, including scheduling, reminders, and follow-up.”

If apologies do not rebuild trust, if one or both of you feel alone in the relationship, or if these tools help only a little, that may be a sign that outside support could help. Therapy is not only for cheating, crisis, or near-breakup. Many people seek it when they want better tools before things get worse. If safety is a concern, seek specialized support.

If you are in immediate crisis and need urgent support in the U.S., call or text 988.

What Getting Help Can Make Possible

When a relationship has felt stuck for a long time, it can be hard to imagine anything different. But for many couples, support helps the same old fight feel more manageable. Conflict may still happen, yet it often becomes more contained. Instead of spiraling, both people may learn to slow things down, name what they need with less blame, and notice repair sooner. Shared plans can start to replace guessing, mind-reading, and repeated disappointment.

Progress also often looks smaller at first than people expect. It may be less escalation, faster recovery after a hard talk, or a clearer request like, “I need help with dinner on Tuesdays,” instead of “You never help.” These shifts can matter even before everything feels fully resolved. One hopeful part of getting support is that the goal does not have to be perfect harmony. It can simply be feeling less alone, less confused, and more able to work as a team.

At the same time, standard couples work may not be the right first step when there is fear, coercion, threats, or abuse. In those situations, specialized support is often safer because the main need is safety, not better conflict skills.

If you’re in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or your local emergency services.

If the relationship feels stuck, consider reaching out for support. You do not have to wait for a breaking point to ask for help, and you do not have to decide everything today.

 

Grief is an overwhelming and sneaky emotion — it’s symptoms are similar to sadness and depression, but permeates every facet of your life including parts of your life you wouldn’t normally expect. Grief can also have a significant impact on your relationships with others; with family, friends, and especially your significant other. A couple that grieves together in a positive way can achieve new heights in their relationship, while improperly grieving can cause problems or exacerbate relationship problems to a breaking point.

How To Grieve In A Positive Way

Death is a natural part of life, and those who have a healthy outlook-on and acceptance-of death tend to grieve more easily, productively, and positively, than those with unresolved issues-with or a fear-of death. Allowing the symptoms of grief (sadness, intense sorrow, isolation, guilt, self-blame, etc.) to overcome you is NOT dealing with grief in a positive way.

The Grieving Process

The grieving process is the expected routine that a person will go-through after suffering an intense loss. The loss could be the death of a loved one, a pet, a close friend, or it could even be the loss of a job/opportunity, the loss of a home, or any traumatic loss. After the initial shock of the loss, a person usually goes through the stages of grief.

What Are The Stages of Grief

Therapists and professionals use a 5 or 7-stage model for the stages of grief. The 5-stage model for grief is as follows:

1. 1. 1. Denial
      2. Anger
      3. Bargaining
      4. Depression
      5. Acceptance

The 7-stage model for grief is as follows:

1. 1. 1. Shock and Denial
      2. Pain and Guilt
      3. Anger and Bargaining
      4. Depression
      5. The Upward Turn
      6. Reconstruction and Walkthrough
      7. Acceptance

Professional Grief Therapists tend to like the 7-phase grief model because it shows that there are 2 steps between Depression and Acceptance. These steps outline what needs to happen for depression to turn to acceptance, and for the phases to complete with closure.

There are certainly some cases of complex grief that last a lifetime, and this is primarily because the person grieving is never able to get out of their depression and reconstruct their life. For this reason, it is so important to recognize the “hidden steps” of the 7-step model of the grief process, and to do the work to turn things upward and start reconstruction and rebuilding.

How Death, Grief, and Loss Affects Couples

Couples are 2 parts of 1 unit. They live-together and breathe-together… all experiences are shared between the couple; both the good and the bad. When grief and loss hit a couple, it hits them both very hard individually, and it hits them hard as a couple. As an individual, a person needs to go through a personal grieving process; but as a couple, there is a separate grieving process where you mourn the loss of a person and what they meant to you as a couple.

The loss of parents and friends can hit couples especially hard; and have an impact on the entire family: kids, extended family, etc. These added stresses put even more pressure on the couple, and even the those couples with iron-strong bonds can bow to the pressures.

Some couples may have needed couples therapy before grieving, simply for the marital or spousal issues they are encountering. When you add grief on top, the need for counseling and therapy becomes urgent. Too many couples wait to deal with their own intimacy problems until something dramatic and shocking wakes them up to the need for help. By then, the emotions have built up even higher.

Separating Grief Issues From Intimacy & Relationship Issues

It is difficult to try and fix 2 problems at once. It is easier to focus on just 1 problem, fix that problem, then move onto the next problem. This is how relationship problems need to be attacked: one by one, while still looking at the big picture. Whether the relationship is with a family member, a friend, or an intimate relationship, it is always important to separate the grief issues from the relationship issues.

Family Relationship Issues and Grief

Another common problem that arises after a death in a family is that familial problems that have been sitting silent for years may come back to the surface. Tensions may run high between family members, and the emotions caused by the grief can be overwhelming; family members may say or do things they regret, and arguments can start or re-start.

Family Issues After The Death of a Loved One are some of the most heartbreaking and intense emotions a human being can experience. Grief and loss are hard enough without added pressures from family, friends, or family and friends of the deceased. It is very important to work these problems out and not let them sit and fester; or else a person is in danger of becoming stuck in the “Anger and Bargaining” phase of the process of grief.

Anger Issues, Grief, and Loss

Anger and temper issues are often associated with grief, loss and death — particularly unresolved feelings and emotions associated with grief, loss and death. Again, it is so important for humans to go through all the steps of the grieving process for them to finally find closure, mental clarity, and to free themselves from guilt and other negative feelings. Those that are not able to overcome their anger, are in-turn overcome by their anger.

It is important for couples to not let their anger overcome them in the relationship. Anger must be controlled and overcome by your unconditional love for each other. Couples may need to seek couples anger therapy if they are only arguing and not making and progress in their arguments. This uncontrolled anger is like poison and needs to be bled-out, or diffused. Couples Anger Management Therapists can help couples to resolve differences enough to let-go of the anger and to start working together again.

Unresolved Loss and Grief Therapy for Individuals and Couples

For widows and widowers who have been working to rebuild and start a new life, the negative emotions of grief can always come back to haunt them. Starting a new relationship after the death of a significant other is a positive process, but can be sabotaged by unnecessary feelings of shame or guilt from unresolved grief.

It is so important to move-on with your life after the death of a loved one, because you HAVE TO. You are still alive and cannot just lay down and die. Couples Therapists can help you to build a new life after experiencing the greatest of losses.

Grief Therapy for Couples, Individuals, and Families in Arizona

There are so many in Arizona suffering with loss and grief. The Grief Therapists at The Arizona Relationship Institute can help you to understand your personal emotional losses, deal with the stages of guilt, and rebuild our life into a positive one after overcoming grief.

 

When a marriage goes from bad to critical, many couples need Emergency Marriage Counseling & Therapy. Emergency therapy for married couples in times of a crisis can offer one or more benefits:

1. 1. It gives couples a “pause” on the current fights/arguments/unhealthy behaviors. A timeout on the escalation of your emotions can keep fights from going “nuclear” (saying devastating things you can’t take back or making mistakes in the heat of the moment). This allows couples to save all that energy until later when a therapist can act as a “referee” and mediate the communication.
   2. It gives couples a neutral setting where both individuals can outline: their issues with the relationship, their goals for their life and the relationship, and all the reasons to save/end the relationship.
   3. For couples who are seriously considering a divorce, separation, or breakup, Emergency Marriage Counseling & Therapy can either help to save the relationship, or help all parties to come to terms with ending the relationship as amicably as possible.

Marriage counseling can be incredibly beneficial for you and your spouse at any phase of your marriage (from newlywed to closure therapy for ending a marriage), but there are a few things you should consider before scheduling your appointment for marriage counseling.

Tips For Successful Marriage Counseling Experience

Counseling and therapy can be a wonderful experience, or it can be a terrible experience — just like any other experience. In order to ensure that it is a positive experience, you must enter into therapy fully prepared for what it takes and what to expect to give. At AZRI, we strive to help all of our guest couples have a positive life experience through marriage counseling, and there are several tips that can help you to have an equally satisfactory time.

Finding the Right Marriage Counselor Therapist

A therapist needs to be the right fit for the individual, couple, or group that is attending therapy sessions. This is very true marriage counseling therapists; the couple must be a good fit for the therapist, and the therapist must be the right fit for both parties.

• • If the therapist is not right for BOTH parts of a married couple, the balance can become lopsided. One partner in the marriage may feel that the therapist and other partner are “Ganging-up” on them, or other uncomfortable symptoms of imbalance may show. It is important for the  therapist and both partners to all form 3 strong sides of a pyramid of healthy communication.
  • If one or both partners do not feel comfortable being completely open and truthful with the therapist, problems may arise. It will take time (sometimes a few minutes or a few sessions) for couples to become fully comfortable with their therapist, but it is important to choose the match that gives you the best shot at adjusting quickly. People have their own quirks, and may not feel as comfortable opening up with a male versus a female therapist, or vice-versa, for example. It is important to consider personalities, behaviors, and quirks when choosing a therapist so that you can have the best chance of success.

Male Versus Female Therapist – Which is Better for Your Needs?

Read our exclusive blog on choosing a therapist and whether a male versus a female therapist is best for your personal situation.  Click Here to read the blog >>

Types of Marriage Counselors and Therapists

There are lots of different credentials and certifications for therapists and counselors, so what should you be looking-for if you want a good counselor or are looking for the best marriage therapist? You should look at both “credentials” and “areas of focus.”

Credentials — credentials are important to show that the therapist or counselor is “competent.” Credentials show that they have studied the basic required education for a level of therapy, and are not just some random person claiming an expertise without anything to back up those claims. Credentials are important in finding a legitimate counselor and therapist; however, “areas of focus” is a more important factor in deciding on a marriage counselor.

Licensed therapists credentials include:

• • • Licensed professional counselors (LPCs)
    • Licensed mental health counselors (LMHCs)
    • Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs)
    • Licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs)
    • Psychologists (PhDs or PsyDs)
    • Psychiatrists (MDs or DOs)

Areas of Focus — therapists and counselors all have their own specialties, or “areas of focus” that primarily work-with. Some counselors specialize in trauma or PTSD, while others focus on individuals or family counseling. Marriage and couples counselors usually focus on the complex relationships between two or more individuals in a love, sexual, or intimate relationship.

Many of the therapists at AZRI.org have their “areas of focus” listed right on their bio pages. These areas of focus are vast and range from childhood issues to sexual identity issues. Certain areas of focus can be a good match for couples, or can be a better fit for the unique problems a certain couple is facing. A therapist specializing-in infidelity may be a good fit for married couples facing infidelity, cheating and trust issues.

Visit the “Meet the Team” page of AZRI to browse through our currently available therapists and see their “areas of focus” for yourself. Familiarize yourself with our team, and this may help streamline the process of booking your consultation with a marriage counselor.

Important Notes on Choosing A Therapist

• • Not all therapists will accept all types of insurance. The therapist conducting your therapy sessions will need to accept the type of insurance you plan to use, if you do plan to use insurance to pay for marriage counseling and therapy.
    • If you must use a certain type of insurance for payment, you must also match with a therapist that accepts that form of insurance.
  • Be mindful of therapist’s schedule. All therapists get very busy, and everyone must work to find the best times slots available for therapy sessions.
  • Be open-minded. Accept everyone’s unique personalities and perspectives.

Christian Marriage Counseling Therapists

For those of Christian Faith, we have Christian Non-Denominational therapists, LDS therapists, and therapists of various other faiths and spiritual backgrounds. We also offer Christian Pre-Marital Therapy for engaged couples and those Christian couples who are looking to get married within the scope of their Christian creeds.

How to Schedule an Appointment for Emergency Marriage Counseling

There are many factors to consider when choosing an Emergency Marriage Counselor in Arizona, but chances are that you and your spouse want to act fast. At The Arizona Relationship Institute, we make the first step easy. Just schedule your FREE 15 Minute Consultation, and we will take care of the rest. An intake specialist will schedule your initial call and get the process moving forward.

 

Too many couples wait until it is too late to seek help with their relationship problems. Like any problem; the longer you ignore the problem the worse it becomes, and the harder it is to fix it. The best relationship advice a therapist can give is to work on the little problems and solve them together, before those little issues grow into bigger, unreconcilable differences.

When is the Best Time to Seek Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling?

At the earliest signs that there is an issue. When your opinion of your relationship goes from a positive view to a negative one, this is the point where a person can get mentally disillusioned. At this point it is important to ensure that both individuals are engaged in the relationships and committed to growing the relationships together.

Is it too early in the relationship to suggest couples therapy and counseling?

No, it is never too early. Yes, many couples wait until the problems become too big to ignore to seek couples therapy; but most couples take a proactive approach to their relationships and try to strengthen and grow their relationship from the early stages.

Couples Therapy to Strengthen and Grow Relationships

AZRI offers Couples Therapy to Strengthen and Grow Relationships because this is the best way to build a relationship that can withstand the test of time, and not crumble under the weight of any future marital or relationship problems.

You cannot foretell what future weather disasters are going to happen where you live, so you build a strong home to withstand fire, flood, winds, and other problems that are out of your control. This is exactly how you should also build your relationship.

How to Build a Relationship

First, you must be ready and committed to building your relationship and doing the work that it takes to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner. Building a relationship is much like building muscle by exercise. You must strengthen the small, individual strands that make up the muscle mass – this means strengthening the small bonds between you and your partner.

Accept Small Relationship Challenges

Exercise is a test, and so are the exercises that test the bonds of relationships. Challenge yourself and your partner to endure the tougher aspects of the relationships.

Relationship Tests

Meeting Family — Are you nervous about meeting each others parents? Don’t avoid the test, embrace it and see it as a wonderful exercise to test your bonds. Dive into the situation together as a couple; face the challenges that come from first meetings and introductions and strive to get through the challenge as best as you (both) can as a couple.

Explore Each Others Interests — you and your partner are not going to be into the same things; you will each have your own hobbies, likes, dislikes, and activities. This is a point where weak individuals can let their partners differences get to them, or where a schism between your personalities can occur. Even if you don’t particularly like or share an interest-in your partner’s likes and hobbies, you should respect their interests and learn how to allow your partner their own personal “things” (likes, hobbies, goals, etc.)

If you and your partner’s differences in interests cause you strife or are too much to get over,” then you have just discovered a “weak point” in the relationship. This weak point can either be dealt with and fixed early in the relationship; or. if allowed to linger, it can eventually be a failure point — causing the relationship to crumble later.

Overcoming Time Apart from Your Partner — some people let their negative feelings and thoughts overcome them, when they are “alone” or without their partner for extended periods of time. Your partner is your “rock” and your support system, but it is a great test of your relationship to see how you function apart for a short period of time. Distance should make the heart grow fonder, and the time apart should strengthen your bonds.

If the time apart brings you to desire other things (goals, qualities from your partner, experiences), then this is a great point where you can together decide whether the relationship can survive these desires for change. Again, this test can discover a weak point in the relationship that can either 1.) be repaired, or 2.) cause both partners to re-evaluate their long term goals for the relationship.

Marriage Coaching for Relationship Tests

A coach is simply someone who brings out the best in you and your actions. A Marriage coach is someone whose input and insight will help you and your partner to engage in relationship tests to bring out the best in you as a couple and in your relationship actions.

Marriage coaches can help in two ways: A.) Proactive Marital Coaching, and B.) Remedial Marital Coaching.

Proactive Marital Coaching

A Proactive Marital Coach works on a healthy relationship, before any major relationship problems arise, with the goal of strengthening and making the relationship bonds better.

Remedial Marital Coaching

A Remedial Marital Coach works on a relationship that is in trouble, where major relationship problems are arising, and with the coal of saving the relationship from ending.

Proactive marriage coaches can help to relieve issues between partners that may eventually evolve into relationship-ending issues. These proactive marriage coaches also help to keep the relationship in a healthy state by challenging the couples with healthy relationship tests whenever the relationship gets “stale” or if the stability of the relationship begins to waver.

Finding Arizona Marriage Coaches

All of our Couples Therapists at AZRI are well-versed in the practices of marriage coaching. It is the overall goal for a couples therapist to strengthen all relationships — even during “Discernment Therapy” where the goal is to END a relationship on “Good Terms.” Our Arizona Marriage Coaches and Couples Therapists can help couples to sort through the noise in a relationship and discover the true underlying problems . Together with your Marriage Coach, couples either strengthen their relationships and become committed to saving the marriage, or will prove that their problems are truly irreconcilable.